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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 4115553" data-attributes="member: 14320">General Terms with Cool Definitions. .........Cigarette:A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.***********Love affairs:Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.***********Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master***********Divorce:Future tense of marriage***********Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.***********Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.***********Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.***********Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .***********Dictionary:A place where divorce comes before marriage.***********Conference Room:A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.***********Ecstasy:A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.***********Classic:A book which people praise, but do not read.***********Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.***********Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.***********Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.***********Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.***********Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.***********Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.***********Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.***********Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.***********Diplomat:A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.***********Opportunist:A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.***********Optimist:A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.***********Pessimist:A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY**********Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.***********Father:A banker provided by nature.***********Criminal:A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.***********Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.***********Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.***********Boss:Someone who comes early when you are late and is late when you come early.***********Classic:Books, which people praise but do not read.***********Compromise:The art of dividing a cake that everybody believes he got the largest piece.***********Committee:A group of individuals who can do nothing individually but sit to decide that nothing can be done together.***********Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.***********Conference Room:A venue where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody agrees later.***********Dictionary:A place where pay, reward and success come before work.***********Doctor:A medical person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with bills.***********Etc.:A grammatical sign used to make people believe that you know more than you do.***********Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.***********Father:A banker provided by nature.***********Lecture:The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to that of the students without going through the brains of either.***********Life Insurance:A contact that keeps you poor all your life so that you can be rich after.***********Marriage:An agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.***********Nurse:A person who wakes you to give you sleeping pills.***********Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous homely life.***********Philosopher:A man who torments himself all his life to become wise after death.***********Politician:Someone who shakes your hand before the elections and your confidence after.***********Saturday and Sunday:Are strong days as the others are weak days (weekdays).***********School:A place where Papa pays and son plays.***********Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.***********Tears:A hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.***********Yawn:The only time a husband can open his mouth.***********</blockquote>