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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063340609" data-attributes="member: 14320">Holy?A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches forone but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10in his town has been at it.Finally he decides to take matters in hand and adopts a baby girlfrom the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking andthensends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age.After many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves herfrom the monastery and marries her.After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into thebedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation.They lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar ofpetroleum jelly."Why the jelly?" she asks him."So I don't hurt your most delicate parts during the act oflovemaking," he replies."Well, why don't you just spit on your cock like the monks did?"=====A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client anyway. Shethinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk. He won't even noticeanything."She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there, takes him tothe nearest hotel and they spend the night together.The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute is already gone bythen)and as he starts to get out of bed he sees that his hands are coveredin blood. He starts running around the room, saying to himself inpanic: "Oh my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!..."As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops, looks athimself for a second and then screams:"Oh my God!!! And I ate her too!!!"</blockquote>

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