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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063340609" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><span style="color: Teal">Holy?</span></p><p></p><p>A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for</p><p>one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10</p><p></p><p>in his town has been at it.</p><p></p><p>Finally he decides to take matters in hand and adopts a baby girl</p><p>from the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking and</p><p>then</p><p>sends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age.</p><p></p><p>After many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves her</p><p>from the monastery and marries her.</p><p></p><p>After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into the</p><p>bedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation.</p><p>They lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar of</p><p>petroleum jelly.</p><p></p><p>"Why the jelly?" she asks him.</p><p></p><p>"So I don't hurt your most delicate parts during the act of</p><p>lovemaking," he replies.</p><p></p><p>"Well, why don't you just spit on your cock like the monks did?"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client anyway. She</p><p>thinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk. He won't even notice</p><p>anything."</p><p></p><p>She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there, takes him to</p><p>the nearest hotel and they spend the night together.</p><p>The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute is already gone by</p><p>then)</p><p>and as he starts to get out of bed he sees that his hands are covered</p><p>in blood. He starts running around the room, saying to himself in</p><p>panic: "Oh my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!..."</p><p></p><p>As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops, looks at</p><p>himself for a second and then screams:</p><p></p><p>"Oh my God!!! And I ate her too!!!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063340609, member: 14320"] [COLOR="Teal"]Holy?[/COLOR] A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10 in his town has been at it. Finally he decides to take matters in hand and adopts a baby girl from the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking and then sends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age. After many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves her from the monastery and marries her. After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into the bedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation. They lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar of petroleum jelly. "Why the jelly?" she asks him. "So I don't hurt your most delicate parts during the act of lovemaking," he replies. "Well, why don't you just spit on your cock like the monks did?" [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client anyway. She thinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk. He won't even notice anything." She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there, takes him to the nearest hotel and they spend the night together. The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute is already gone by then) and as he starts to get out of bed he sees that his hands are covered in blood. He starts running around the room, saying to himself in panic: "Oh my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!..." As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops, looks at himself for a second and then screams: "Oh my God!!! And I ate her too!!!" [/QUOTE]
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