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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063359153" data-attributes="member: 14320">Christmas Ball WarmersThree blondes are sitting in a café, talking about what to get theirboyfriends for Christmas."It's funny," said Samantha. "Peter's balls are always cold as ice whenI'm sucking his cock! I think I should get him some ball warmers forChristmas.""You know what?" replied Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard!"They turn to the third blonde, Candi, and asked, "When you blow Chris,are his balls cold, too?""Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"exclaimed Candi."You're crazy," Samantha piped up. "A good blowjob is the best way tokeep a guy! You should try it! It would make a great Christmas gift forChris!"Candi says she'll think about it. The next time they meet at the café itis Boxing Day and Candi is sporting a wicked shiner."Whoa!" the Jenny asked. "How did you get that black eye?!""Chris hit me when I was blowing him," Candi said."What on earth for?!" the Jenny asked."I don't know," Candi replied. "I was giving him his Christmas presentlike you two suggested. I mentioned how strange it was that his ballswere so warm, when Pete and Richard's were so cold, and he punched me!"Santa’s Pickup Lines*^* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?*^* Wanna see my 12-inch elf?*^* I`ve got something special in the sack for you!*^* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?*^* I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, sister!*^* Some of my best toys run on batteries.*^* Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it)*^* I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear, do you?*^* Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!*^* Wanna join the "Mile High" club? Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid..10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, Dream on,Bucko!9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping andhandling.7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in hisbed.5. Instead of Naughty or Nice, Santa has him on the dork list.4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie Lee.3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, Touch my beard and I'llput the hurt on you.2. Labels on all your kid's toys read Straight from Craptown.1. Four words: Off my lap, Tubby!</blockquote>

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