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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063408918" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">FUN THINGS TO SAY TO A GIRL WITH</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">NO ARMS AND NO LEGS</span></strong></p><p></p><p>*"If your happy and you know it clap your hands!"</p><p>*I guess a handjobs out off the question?</p><p>*You don't expect me to do the dishes?</p><p>*Could you pass me my cigarettes darling?</p><p>*I would have at least expected you to cook me dinner!!!</p><p>*Do you want a vibrator for Christmas?</p><p>*Why do you mean you haven't done the shopping?</p><p>*Oi… give me back the remote control.</p><p>*Do you want to play racket ball?</p><p>*Why haven't you made the bed?</p><p>*Now stand up and say that… BITCH!!!!!</p><p>*It's your turn to mow the lawn!</p><p>*Who left that slug trail on the kitchen floor?</p><p>*If you need something done while I'm gone, call a handyman!</p><p>*Are you having an affair you bitch, I've been calling all day!!!!</p><p>*One giant leap for mankind, one enormous thump on the floor!</p><p>*Remember… progress is just one step at a time.</p><p>*Put another log on the fire.</p><p>*Do you want to drive, or should I?</p><p>*It's your turn to walk the dog! For god sake woman… get off your arse!!!!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">7777777777</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old.</p><p></p><p>We drank a bit, and talked awhile, and she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double.</p><p></p><p>"What’s that?" I asked.</p><p></p><p>"It’s a mother and daughter threesome," she said.</p><p></p><p>I said, "No."</p><p></p><p>We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.</p><p></p><p>We went back to her place.</p><p></p><p>She flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mum, you still awake?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">7777777777</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Paddie was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.</p><p></p><p>"Ten quid . ." she whispers.</p><p></p><p>He’d never been with a prostiture before, but he decides, it’s only a tenner. So they hide in the bushes.</p><p></p><p>They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It’s a policeman. "What’s going on here, people?" asks the officer.</p><p></p><p>"I’m making love to my wife!," he answers indignantly.</p><p></p><p>"Oh, I’m sorry," says the cop, "I didn’t know."</p><p></p><p>"Well," he says, "neider did I, til you shined dat light in her face!!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063408918, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]FUN THINGS TO SAY TO A GIRL WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS[/COLOR][/B] *"If your happy and you know it clap your hands!" *I guess a handjobs out off the question? *You don't expect me to do the dishes? *Could you pass me my cigarettes darling? *I would have at least expected you to cook me dinner!!! *Do you want a vibrator for Christmas? *Why do you mean you haven't done the shopping? *Oi… give me back the remote control. *Do you want to play racket ball? *Why haven't you made the bed? *Now stand up and say that… BITCH!!!!! *It's your turn to mow the lawn! *Who left that slug trail on the kitchen floor? *If you need something done while I'm gone, call a handyman! *Are you having an affair you bitch, I've been calling all day!!!! *One giant leap for mankind, one enormous thump on the floor! *Remember… progress is just one step at a time. *Put another log on the fire. *Do you want to drive, or should I? *It's your turn to walk the dog! For god sake woman… get off your arse!!!! [B][COLOR="Red"]7777777777[/COLOR][/B] I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old. We drank a bit, and talked awhile, and she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double. "What’s that?" I asked. "It’s a mother and daughter threesome," she said. I said, "No." We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. We went back to her place. She flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mum, you still awake?" [B][COLOR="Red"]7777777777[/COLOR][/B] Paddie was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. "Ten quid . ." she whispers. He’d never been with a prostiture before, but he decides, it’s only a tenner. So they hide in the bushes. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It’s a policeman. "What’s going on here, people?" asks the officer. "I’m making love to my wife!," he answers indignantly. "Oh, I’m sorry," says the cop, "I didn’t know." "Well," he says, "neider did I, til you shined dat light in her face!!" [/QUOTE]
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