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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063412083" data-attributes="member: 14320">Another Little JohnnyThe new school year started and the grade school teacher wanted somestudents to tell a brief story about summer vacation. Several studentseagerly raised their hands including Little Johnny. The teacher askedAlice to tell a story."We took a trip to the Grand Canyon during vacation" Alice said. "Werode donkeys down a steep trail to the bottom of the canyon, it wasfun."The teacher asked for another volunteer, several students eagerlyraisedtheir hands including little Johnny. She was afraid to call on littleJohnny because he swore a lot in last years classroom. The teacherchose Fred to tell a story."My Dad and I went on a fishing trip way out in the country. Westoppedat a small pond, I cast my lure into the pond and caught the biggesttrout we'd ever seen! We started a campfire and cooked the trout, itwas great!" Fred reported."That nice Fred, now how about another volunteer". Several studentswere waving their hands. The teacher felt sorry for Little Johnny andwanted to give him another chance. "My Dad and I went on a deer huntingtrip. We saw a huge 18 point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shotit right in the asshole" Little Johnny said.The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum" she said."Wrecked 'im, you bet it wrecked 'im...shot his balls clean off."{}{}{}{}{}There once was this guy called Mike,who met this chick he really liked,He tried to get near,and she gave him a sneer,cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.{}{}{}{}{}Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Ted, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Ted says: "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants...!" CARTOON CHARACTER JOKES1) Mickey Mouse murdered Minnie Mouse after he discovered she was having an affair with another Walt Disney character. In court, the judge asked Mickey's barrister, "Why did he do it?""Mickey said to me that she was insane." replied the barrister."Insane?" replied Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy!"2) Donald Duck walked into a chemist and asked for a packet of condoms."Certainly Sir," said the lady behind the counter, "shall I put them on your bill?""NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am a dickhead!"3) What happened when Moses went to mount Olive?Popeye beat the living crap out of him!4) What do you call Woody Woodpecker if his beak fell off?Woody Headbanger (Or a top cock sucker!)5) What does Winnie the Pooh and Jack the ripper have in common?The same middle name!6) What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged!7) What is the part of Popeye that never rusts?His dick. Because he always puts it in Olive Oil!8) What's Smurf sex?Fucking until you are blue in the face!9) What fruit has seven dents?Snow White's cherry!10) How did Captain Hook Die.Jock itch!11) What did the seven dwarfs say when the handsome Prince awoke Snow White?"Well, I guess it's back to wanking guys!"12) What's black and jumps up and down in a forest fire?Winnie the Pooh!13) What goes "Tweet, Tweet, Ping!"Tweetie pie in a microwave oven!14) "My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.The wolf jumped up and ran away.Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he was crouched behind a tree stump."My, what big ears you have Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.Again the wolf jumped up and ran away.Some distance down the track, Little Red Riding Hood again encountered the wolf, this time crouched behind a road sign."My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf!" taunted Little Red Riding Hood.With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumped up and screamed, "Will you fuck off! I'm trying to take a shit!"15) What do you have when you have one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other?Total control of the Incredible Hulk!16) What did Pocahantas say to Pinnochio when she sat on his face?"Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth............!"---------- Post added at 10:45 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 10:44 PM ----------Another Little JohnnyThe new school year started and the grade school teacher wanted somestudents to tell a brief story about summer vacation. Several studentseagerly raised their hands including Little Johnny. The teacher askedAlice to tell a story."We took a trip to the Grand Canyon during vacation" Alice said. "Werode donkeys down a steep trail to the bottom of the canyon, it wasfun."The teacher asked for another volunteer, several students eagerlyraisedtheir hands including little Johnny. She was afraid to call on littleJohnny because he swore a lot in last years classroom. The teacherchose Fred to tell a story."My Dad and I went on a fishing trip way out in the country. Westoppedat a small pond, I cast my lure into the pond and caught the biggesttrout we'd ever seen! We started a campfire and cooked the trout, itwas great!" Fred reported."That nice Fred, now how about another volunteer". Several studentswere waving their hands. The teacher felt sorry for Little Johnny andwanted to give him another chance. "My Dad and I went on a deer huntingtrip. We saw a huge 18 point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shotit right in the asshole" Little Johnny said.The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum" she said."Wrecked 'im, you bet it wrecked 'im...shot his balls clean off."{}{}{}{}{}There once was this guy called Mike,who met this chick he really liked,He tried to get near,and she gave him a sneer,cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.{}{}{}{}{}Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Ted, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Ted says: "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants...!" CARTOON CHARACTER JOKES1) Mickey Mouse murdered Minnie Mouse after he discovered she was having an affair with another Walt Disney character. In court, the judge asked Mickey's barrister, "Why did he do it?""Mickey said to me that she was insane." replied the barrister."Insane?" replied Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy!"2) Donald Duck walked into a chemist and asked for a packet of condoms."Certainly Sir," said the lady behind the counter, "shall I put them on your bill?""NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am a dickhead!"3) What happened when Moses went to mount Olive?Popeye beat the living crap out of him!4) What do you call Woody Woodpecker if his beak fell off?Woody Headbanger (Or a top cock sucker!)5) What does Winnie the Pooh and Jack the ripper have in common?The same middle name!6) What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged!7) What is the part of Popeye that never rusts?His dick. Because he always puts it in Olive Oil!8) What's Smurf sex?Fucking until you are blue in the face!9) What fruit has seven dents?Snow White's cherry!10) How did Captain Hook Die.Jock itch!11) What did the seven dwarfs say when the handsome Prince awoke Snow White?"Well, I guess it's back to wanking guys!"12) What's black and jumps up and down in a forest fire?Winnie the Pooh!13) What goes "Tweet, Tweet, Ping!"Tweetie pie in a microwave oven!14) "My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.The wolf jumped up and ran away.Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he was crouched behind a tree stump."My, what big ears you have Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.Again the wolf jumped up and ran away.Some distance down the track, Little Red Riding Hood again encountered the wolf, this time crouched behind a road sign."My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf!" taunted Little Red Riding Hood.With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumped up and screamed, "Will you fuck off! I'm trying to take a shit!"15) What do you have when you have one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other?Total control of the Incredible Hulk!16) What did Pocahantas say to Pinnochio when she sat on his face?"Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth............!"---------- Post added at 10:45 PM ---------- 6 hour anti-bump limit - Previous post was at 10:45 PM ----------Another Little JohnnyThe new school year started and the grade school teacher wanted somestudents to tell a brief story about summer vacation. Several studentseagerly raised their hands including Little Johnny. The teacher askedAlice to tell a story."We took a trip to the Grand Canyon during vacation" Alice said. "Werode donkeys down a steep trail to the bottom of the canyon, it wasfun."The teacher asked for another volunteer, several students eagerlyraisedtheir hands including little Johnny. She was afraid to call on littleJohnny because he swore a lot in last years classroom. The teacherchose Fred to tell a story."My Dad and I went on a fishing trip way out in the country. Westoppedat a small pond, I cast my lure into the pond and caught the biggesttrout we'd ever seen! We started a campfire and cooked the trout, itwas great!" Fred reported."That nice Fred, now how about another volunteer". Several studentswere waving their hands. The teacher felt sorry for Little Johnny andwanted to give him another chance. "My Dad and I went on a deer huntingtrip. We saw a huge 18 point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shotit right in the asshole" Little Johnny said.The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum" she said."Wrecked 'im, you bet it wrecked 'im...shot his balls clean off."{}{}{}{}{}There once was this guy called Mike,who met this chick he really liked,He tried to get near,and she gave him a sneer,cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.{}{}{}{}{}Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Ted, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Ted says: "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants...!" CARTOON CHARACTER JOKES1) Mickey Mouse murdered Minnie Mouse after he discovered she was having an affair with another Walt Disney character. In court, the judge asked Mickey's barrister, "Why did he do it?""Mickey said to me that she was insane." replied the barrister."Insane?" replied Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy!"2) Donald Duck walked into a chemist and asked for a packet of condoms."Certainly Sir," said the lady behind the counter, "shall I put them on your bill?""NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am a dickhead!"3) What happened when Moses went to mount Olive?Popeye beat the living crap out of him!4) What do you call Woody Woodpecker if his beak fell off?Woody Headbanger (Or a top cock sucker!)5) What does Winnie the Pooh and Jack the ripper have in common?The same middle name!6) What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged!7) What is the part of Popeye that never rusts?His dick. Because he always puts it in Olive Oil!8) What's Smurf sex?Fucking until you are blue in the face!9) What fruit has seven dents?Snow White's cherry!10) How did Captain Hook Die.Jock itch!11) What did the seven dwarfs say when the handsome Prince awoke Snow White?"Well, I guess it's back to wanking guys!"12) What's black and jumps up and down in a forest fire?Winnie the Pooh!13) What goes "Tweet, Tweet, Ping!"Tweetie pie in a microwave oven!14) "My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.The wolf jumped up and ran away.Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he was crouched behind a tree stump."My, what big ears you have Mr Wolf!" said Little Red Riding Hood.Again the wolf jumped up and ran away.Some distance down the track, Little Red Riding Hood again encountered the wolf, this time crouched behind a road sign."My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf!" taunted Little Red Riding Hood.With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumped up and screamed, "Will you fuck off! I'm trying to take a shit!"15) What do you have when you have one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other?Total control of the Incredible Hulk!16) What did Pocahantas say to Pinnochio when she sat on his face?"Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth............!"</blockquote>