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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063415174" data-attributes="member: 14320"> The PrizeAn aging prostitute had so many men that no longer could she besatisfied. Before retiring she staged a contest and offered a thousanddollar prize to any man who could bring her to orgasm. All the men intown lined up to try. From the Mayor to the courthouse janitor, no onecould make her cum. She was sadly disappointed and ready to give upwhen a midget showed up to try. Much to her surprise the little fellowgave her the thrill of her life, and walked away with the thousanddollars. All of the other men were amazed and demanded to know hissecret. The Midget finally fessed up, "I stuck my head in her pussy,wiggled my ears and vomited."vvvvvTwo school-kids around AberystwythMade love with the lips that they kissed withBut as they got olderThey also grew bolderMaking love with the things that they pissed withvvvvvA long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. Afterriding about 30 miles in silence,the youth finally said,"Well, aren't you going to ask me?""Ask you what?" replied the trucker."If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth."Don't matter," replied the trucker. "I'm gonna fuck ya'anyway."They Are Keepers If You Hear Them Say...She's A Keeper If You Hear A Woman Say . . .* I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.* I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!* This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.* Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot.* Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.* That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch porno's again?* I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby- sitter Tracy.* You're my daddy! You're my daddy!* The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.* Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!* While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.* Bar food again!? Kick ass.* I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girl- friend has class.* That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.* I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.* I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!* Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.* I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?* It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.* Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Chuck's bare ass!* My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.* I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.* Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!* You are so much smarter than my father.* If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.He's A Keeper If You Hear A Man Say...* I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.* I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.* Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.* I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell her.* No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.* Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines, I don't look at them anymore.* I understand.* This movie has too much nudity.* Damn, we're late for church.* No. I don't want to see your sister's tits.* Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.* Put some panties on, for Christ's sake!</blockquote>

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