Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063421666" data-attributes="member: 14320">What's the definition of gross?When you open your refrigerator and your rump-roast farts at you.***Two vomits are walking down the street when one of them starts to cry."What's wrong with you?" asked the first vomit."Ohhhh," said the second vomit, "This is the area I was brought up in!"***This guy was on a hot date, and after well and truly fucking this sweet thing, she turned to the guy and said, "Wasn't it a bit presumptuous to think that I would let you fuck me on the first date?"To which the bloke responded, "Presumptuous? Now that's a big word for a 7 year old!"***A guy pulls up in his car next to a very young boy and opens the window. "If I give you a sweetie will you come in my car?"To which the little boy answers "If you give me the whole bag I will come in your face!"***Mummy, Mummy, when will we have this nice yellow pudding again?Shut up son, you know that your grandma's cured from her yeast infection!***She said, "Give me eight inches and make me bleed!" So I fucked her four times with my 2 inch dick and punched her on the nose! Later she said, "Give me eight inches and make me moan!" So I fucked her four more times with my 2 inch dick and kicked her in the stomach! Later she said, "Give me eight inches and make my head explode!" So I fucked her four more times with my 2 inch dick and blew her fucking head off with a shotgun!She didn't ask me for sex after that, but it's a lot better now!***Things you should do if you accidentally run over and kill your neighbors cat:A) Wedge the cat under your neighbors car wheel so they think they did it.B) Paint a hexagram on their front lawn and put the cat in the middle, so that they think some crazy Satanists did it.C) Throw the cat into your other neighbor's yard.D) Put the cat in a tree. Call the fire brigade and let them try to explain it!E) Drive over the rest of the cats in the neighborhood and say you're on a "Mission from God!"If Men Wrote The Dear Abby Column...Dear Mr. Abby:Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing...your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.Q: My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.**********A fraternity brother confronted a junior member, telling him, "Asorority girl is running around campus telling people you have asmall dick." "Yeah?" the junior member replied. "Well, she has a big</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

original rare Rays Volk Racing TE37SL Black Edition...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda city JSracing gtwing spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fd ~car spray(Ferrari red)
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda jazz fit gk flrs body kit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 ~M5 front skirt lip with glossy black
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Kia Forte gtwing spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Proton Saga VVT Evo Front Bonnet Hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Perodua bezza gear up body kit/spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 ~M5 front bumper set ~M5 kidney grille...
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

McChip-ing the Golf R to 315hp

http://www.zerotohundred.com/?attachment_id=14280

Software is as cardinal as hardware in squeezing out power from a modern engine these days. Just plug in a laptop, reflash the ECU with a new ignition and fueling...

Anybody looking for this mod item for your 350z

HI guys im selling this stuffs:

http://www.zerotohundred.com/newforums/exterior-and-body/266194-voltex-carbon-gt-wing-for-sale-fairlady.html#post3387921

how to openthe head light cover

Hey guys,

Any idea for how to open the head light cover?

thank you

:_: