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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063464821" data-attributes="member: 14320">Filthy Funny Sexual PositionsAll The Sexual Positions That You Can Try With Your Special Someone Tonight!Dingleberry Surprise: Ok, get some Toilet Paper and put it in between your asscheeks. Then go run around until that shit is all kinds of dingleberry-ified. Relax and let it sit, and get all nasty and crusty. When you go to perform the teabag on the unsuspecting bitch, proceed to wipe the berries off in her hair and her eyebrows. Take that ho, you just got a nice Dingleberry Surprise.Debeers: You know the bitch is a keeper when she deep throats you, but she also gets your balls in her mouth. If a girl can do that, you will be buying her a Debeers Diamond the next day.Penalty Kick: You're sitting down, getting some dome from a skank, and you shout in pain 'cause she dragged her teeth. Tell her to bend over doggy style, and give her penalty kick right in her ass.Pink Sock: You start ramming the bitch in the ass. While your fucking her, at the same time, punch her in both her kidneys and pull out. The suction will pull her anus out, then you grab a lighter and light it on fire.Chief Assmaster: While you corn hole some broad, light a cigarette and put it in her vertical lips. As the motions from your intense anal session make her box tighten and release, the pussy will smoke the cigarette, resulting in smoke signals to rise up from the crack of her ass. If you can make her pussy blow rings, consider renaming yourself Chief Assmaster. Maybe you should buy a casino.Jelly Doughnut: When the ho is giving you some head, pull out of her mouth and bust all over her mouth and nose. Punch in the nose and break it, this will make blood pour out. Now, mix the blood and jizz together with your cock and stick it back in her mouth. A nice jelly doughnut.Dirty River: You give a bitch the most painful anal sex of her life and then ask her to turn around. Just as she turns you surprise her with a low blow, a punch to her lower stomach as hard as you can. Once you land the blow she will shit uncontrollably, shit will flow from her worn out asshole like a dirty fucking river. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.Pull Start: If you have a freaky bitch, and she wants to do anal beads, make her think twice. Once they're in her ass, pretend like you're starting a lawnmower, and pull start that junk out of her ass. She will shit everywhere and you can laugh.Ramshark: The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, and begins chanting the theme to JAWS. Then, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.Snow blower: You grab the ho from behind, and you grab her arms like in the wrecking ball. But, unlike the wrecking ball, you just fuck her real fast and subtle so she jerks back and forth like a snow blower.Boiling Decision: This is wear your bitch is cooking you dinner, (if she's not cooking you dinner, then smack her), and you bend her over and stick it in her ass. If she says no, then you dunk her head into boiling water. If she says yes, then you do it anyway just so her ass spasms.My Little Pony: Having her doggie-styled while harnessed around the mouth with her dirty underwear.</blockquote>

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