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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063485235" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Harsh Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.2. Ahhhh, it's cute.3. Why don't we just cuddle?4. You know they have surgery to fix that.5. Make it dance.6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?7. Wow, and your feet are so big.9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?10. Oh no... a flash headache.11. (giggle and point)12. Can I be honest with you?13. How sweet, you brought incense.14. This explains your car.15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.16. Why is God punishing me?17. At least this won't take long.18. I never saw one like that before.19. But it still works, right?20. It looks so unused.21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?23. Are you cold?24. If you get me real drunk first.25. Is that an optical illusion?26. What is that?27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.28. Does it come with an air pump?29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird'.31. I'm so sorry.32. Who circumcised you?33. Can I paint a smiley face on that?34. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.35. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.36. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.37. Let me go get my tweezers.38. Let me know when you're done.39. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?A: He worked it out with a pencil.Q: Did you hear about the constipated jitterbug?A: He couldn't jit.Q: Well, did you hear about the constipated accountant?A: He couldn't budget. NewlywedsA young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together,doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towelwhen he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring onefrom the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door,exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all ofhim well.Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared,and she asked shyly, "What's that?", pointing to a small part of hisanatomy.He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that'swhat we had so much fun with last night."And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?-------------------==========A man and his wife are watching the boxing on TV. Thehusband sighs and says, "I'm disappointed! It was all over infour minutes." The wife replies, "Good! now you know how I feel."Did you hear about the blonde who got the toy poodle for her birthday?Well she killed it trying to shove batteries up its ass.How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?Shine a flashlight in their ear.Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?So her male would get delivered to the right box.WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB?The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART?The shopping cart has a mind of its own.Q: What's red, black and blue and lies in the gutter?A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokesQ: How is a woman like a road?A: Both have manholes.Q: What is the difference between Love, True Love and showing off?A: Spit, swallow and gargle.Q: What's Rodeo Sex?A: It's where you fuck her doggie style, with a tit in each hand, and whisper….in her ear: "Your sister likes it this way, too."</blockquote>

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