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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063489924" data-attributes="member: 14320">Top 10 Things NOT To Say To Parents When Picking Up A Date.10. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore."9. "Show me how you used to spank her."8. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."7. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"6. "I just got my license today."5. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped memature."4. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."3. "Hey do you have an empty pop can and some matches?" Sheep Are Better Than...*You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear.*Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather.*Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than asocial disease.*Nuttin' beats mutton!*Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is togo get a towel.*Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke yourweed, snort your coke, and then tell you theyhave to be home early.*Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down.*Sheep never ask about your former lovers, andthen get pissed off when you tell them.*No matter how old or ugly you are, you canalways find a willing ewe.*Sheep are never concerned about their reputation.*Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time youcouldn't get it up.*Sheep won't ask if you're gay when you can't getit up for the second time.*Sheep never insist on eating out.*You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to apicture of Brad Pitt.*Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late.*Sheep don't smell like tuna fish.*Sheep don't get moody once a month.*You can eat a lamb chop without getting wool stuckin your teeth.*A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for therest of her life after one roll in the hay.*A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed.*A sheep doesn't stop screwing after the honeymoon.*A sheep won't get drunk and throw up in your car.*A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitlesher to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains.*A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay.*A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup.*A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy.*A sheep won't care if you keep your fish bait in therefrigerator.*Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth2. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"1. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?///There's nothing better than waking up to yourgirlfriend giving you a blowjob. Unless, maybe,it was your wife giving you the blowjob. Or maybeyour wife watching *her* girlfriend give you ablowjob. Better yet, your wife and her girlfriend*and* your girlfriend all fighting over who getsto give you a blowjob and they all decide totag team on the blowjob. The common theme,though, would be getting a blowjob.///Two young newlyweds arrived at a posh hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite... The receptionist asked the bride, "Do you have any reservations?" The bride replied, "Yes. I'm not too sure about takin' it up the ass."</blockquote>

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