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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063539439" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Quotes From The Perfect Woman:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1.) "I'll swallow it all...I just love the taste!"</p><p>2.) "Are you sure you've had enough beer?"</p><p>3.) "I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!"</p><p>4.) "Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over for a threesome!"</p><p>5.) "If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!"</p><p>6.) "I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?"</p><p>7.) "You're so sexy when you're hung over."</p><p>8.) "I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping."</p><p>9.) "Let's subscribe to Hustler."</p><p>10.) "Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?"</p><p>11.) "Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses."</p><p>12.) "I'll be out painting the house."</p><p>13.) "I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday, too."</p><p>14.) "Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!"</p><p>15.) "I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house."</p><p>16.) "No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed."</p><p>17.) "Your mother did a great job raising you."</p><p>18.) "Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself new clubs."</p><p>19.) "I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year for God's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever."</p><p>20.) "Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?"</p><p>21.) "Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!" 22.) "Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8."</p><p>23.) "You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings."</p><p>24.) "That was a great fart! Do another one!"</p><p>25.) "I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Murphy's Laws On Sex</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave</p><p>her with no hard feelings.</p><p></p><p>Nothing improves with age.</p><p></p><p>No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because</p><p>it'll never be quite the same again.</p><p></p><p>Sex has no calories.</p><p></p><p>Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of</p><p>trouble.</p><p></p><p>There is no remedy for sex but more sex.</p><p></p><p>Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.</p><p></p><p>No sex with anyone in the same office.</p><p></p><p>Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or</p><p>how long it is going to last.</p><p></p><p>Virginity can be cured.</p><p></p><p>Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.</p><p></p><p>The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same</p><p>ones she can't stand years later.</p><p></p><p>Sex is dirty only if it's done right.</p><p></p><p>It is always the wrong time of month.</p><p></p><p>When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.</p><p></p><p>Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't</p><p>either.</p><p></p><p>Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop</p><p>failure.</p><p></p><p>The younger the better.</p><p></p><p>Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.</p><p></p><p>Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.</p><p></p><p>Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.</p><p></p><p>If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into</p><p>our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.</p><p></p><p>Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.</p><p></p><p>Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter</p><p>words to convey its full meaning.</p><p></p><p>You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.</p><p></p><p>Thou shall not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.</p><p></p><p>A woman never forgets the men she could have had. A man, the women he</p><p>couldn't.</p><p></p><p>What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.</p><p></p><p>A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.</p><p></p><p>Love comes in spurts.</p><p></p><p>Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are</p><p>unimportant.</p><p></p><p>Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.</p><p></p><p>Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063539439, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Quotes From The Perfect Woman:[/COLOR][/B] 1.) "I'll swallow it all...I just love the taste!" 2.) "Are you sure you've had enough beer?" 3.) "I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!" 4.) "Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over for a threesome!" 5.) "If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!" 6.) "I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?" 7.) "You're so sexy when you're hung over." 8.) "I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping." 9.) "Let's subscribe to Hustler." 10.) "Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?" 11.) "Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses." 12.) "I'll be out painting the house." 13.) "I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday, too." 14.) "Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!" 15.) "I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house." 16.) "No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed." 17.) "Your mother did a great job raising you." 18.) "Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself new clubs." 19.) "I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year for God's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever." 20.) "Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?" 21.) "Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!" 22.) "Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8." 23.) "You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings." 24.) "That was a great fart! Do another one!" 25.) "I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya [B][COLOR="Teal"]Murphy's Laws On Sex[/COLOR][/B] The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. Nothing improves with age. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. Sex has no calories. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. No sex with anyone in the same office. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. Virginity can be cured. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later. Sex is dirty only if it's done right. It is always the wrong time of month. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure. The younger the better. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. Thou shall not commit adultery.....unless in the mood. A woman never forgets the men she could have had. A man, the women he couldn't. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride. Love comes in spurts. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. [/QUOTE]
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