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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063556169" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Fly And The ElephantA horsefly kept biting an elephant near her tail. She kept swingingher trunk, but he was far out of reach.A little sparrow observed this and flew down and snipped thehorsefly in half."Oh, thank you!" said the elephant. "Listen, if there's anything Ican ever do for you, don't hesitate to ask."The sparrow paused. "Well, ma'am -," he said."What is it," said the elephant. "You needn't be shy with me.""Well," said the sparrow, "the truth is that all my life I wonderedhow it would feel to fuck an elephant.""Go right ahead," said the elephant. "Be my guest!"The sparrow began to fuck away. Up above them, a monkey got veryexcited and started to masturbate.This shook a coconut loose and it hit the elephant smack on thehead."Ouch!" said the elephant.The sparrow looked over from behind and said, "Am I hurting you,dear?"________________________________________There was a young lady of DexterWhose husband exceedingly vexed her,For whenever they'd startHe'd unfailingly fartWith a blast that damn nearly unsexed her.When I was young and had no sense,I had a piss on an electric fence,It tickled my prick, And shivered my balls,And made me shit in my overalls.There was a young man from Cape Horn,Who wished he had never been born,He wouldn't have been, If his girlfriend had seen,That the end of his condom was torn.A pretty young nun from France,Decided she'd just take a chance,She let herself go, For an hour or so,And now all her sisters are aunts.The Canonical List of Sorority Girl JokesWhat does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her moreattractive? Her ankles.What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? Youcan only put three fingers in a bowling ball. You could eat a bowlingball if you had to. You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in thegutter and they always come back for more.What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ? Sororitygirls cost less per score.What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant? About 40lbs. How do you equalize the two? Feed the elephant.How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?She drops her nail file.What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?'Cause everyone gets a turn.How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie onthe bed.Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?Garbage gets taken out once a week.What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?Bay of Pigs.What is a sorority girl's mating call..."I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?The Dead SeaLake MichiganLake PlacidHow can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?No makeup.How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?Marry her.What's the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at onceWhat's the difference between a sorority girl and garbage?Garbage smells better.Sorority girl attract more flies.What' the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?Nothing. They both suck.*You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.*You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.*When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.*A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.What is the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?In the morning a rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo", while asorority girl says "any-cock'll-do"Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?They are both stuck up cunts.Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm?So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and asorority girl?A prostitute says "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says "You're donealready?", and a sorority girl says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceilingbeige."</blockquote>

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