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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063562535" data-attributes="member: 14320">A Little Girl's QuestionsA little girl is watching her mum getting changed to go out for the evening.“What are they?” she asked.“Those are mummy’s breasts,” the mother replied.“Will I get those?” came the next question.“When you’re a little older,” answered the girl’s mother.“And what is that?” the little girl asked.“That’s mummy’s vagina,” the mother answered, a little embarrassed.“When will I get that?”“That will happen at around the same time you get your breasts. Now run along and let mummy change.”The little girl ran off into the next room where her father was getting changed out of his work clothes to relax for the evening.“What’s that thing, daddy?” asked the little girl.“That’s daddy’s penis,” he answered.“When will I get one of those?” the little girl asked.“In about an hour.”What’s the difference between acne and a paedophile?Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re twelve.What’s the worst thing about eating vegetables?Getting caught up in the wheelchair.What’s the difference between menstrual blood and sand?You can’t gargle sand.Why do tampons have strings?So you can floss after eating.Why does an elephant have four feet?Six inches isn’t enough.What do a tightrope walker and a young man getting head off his granny have in common?Neither look down.A mother is preparing dessert for after a family meal when her young son comes running in breathless.“Mum! Mum! Quick! Granny is playing with her shrimp!”The mother, confused, follows the boy back into the dining room and sees the kid’s grandmother furiously fingering herself.“Ah!” said the mother. “Well, that’s not a shrimp. That’s actually called a ‘vagina’”“Oh!” said the boy. “It certainly tasted like shrimp.” Different Kinds Of BreastsA family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father,"Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised,answers,"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, awoman's breasts are like melons, round and Firm. In her thirties to forties,they are like pears, still nice but Hanging a bit. After fifty, they are likeonions.""Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, howmany kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles, andlooks at her husband and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases.In a man's twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In histhirties and forties, it Is like a birch, flexible but reliable. Afterhis fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, deadfrom the root up & the balls are there for decoration only!___________Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you canguess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action.""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady,"If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't the least bit interested."___________What's the useless skin around a penis called???The MAN!How can you tell if a man is horny?He's breathing.Chinese words for pussy: Tongue chowChinese words for bad pussy: Tongue chow yuck__________The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementaryschool for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile ofapples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is watching."Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the tablewas a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written anote, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."__________A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen".The surprised salesman replies: - "But madam, computers do not...have curtains...".And the blonde said: - "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!"</blockquote>

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