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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063598782" data-attributes="member: 14320">TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED...10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.8. The cat is on Valium.7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates._______________________________________TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.3. You're counting down the days until menopause.2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday._______________________________________"So he asked, 'Would you be interested in a threesome?'" "OH, NO! Whatdid you tell him?" "I said, "I might. 'Whom did you have in mind?' Hereplied, 'Your pretty little friend Jill!' I said, 'That's too badbecause I was thinking more along the lines of your gorgeous, hunkyfriend Jerry, who I know for a fact has 10 and a half inches to offer!'"</blockquote>

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