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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063601587" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> Duck Hunting</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One Friday night a man tells his wife that he is going duck hunting</p><p>in the morning.</p><p></p><p>She says, "I want to go too."</p><p></p><p>He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up."</p><p></p><p>She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will wake up early."</p><p>He says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to screw you up</p><p>the ass or you are going to give me a blow job."</p><p></p><p>She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because I will wake up."</p><p></p><p>3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The man gets up and tries</p><p>to wake up his wife. She's still laying there and he tells her that</p><p>he is going to take a shower and when he gets out she'd better be up.</p><p>He gets out of the shower and she is still sleeping. He tells her he</p><p>is going to give her one more chance to wake up. He has to go out and</p><p>get their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and when he comes back</p><p>in she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's out there about</p><p>30 minutes and when he comes back in his wife is snoring.</p><p></p><p>He is pissed. He wakes her up.</p><p></p><p>He said, "OK now what's it going to be? In the ass or a blow job?"</p><p></p><p>She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so I will give you a</p><p>blow job."</p><p></p><p>He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on it.</p><p></p><p>Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!"</p><p></p><p>He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to wake up either."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">yyyyyyyy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little boy and his mother were driving down the</p><p>road one day and the little boy saw 2 dogs "doing</p><p>it." He asked his mom what they were doing. She</p><p>answered, "They're making cake." Later on he</p><p>saw 2 cows "doing it" and he asked his mom</p><p>what they were doing. Again she answered,</p><p>"They're making cake." Later that night the little</p><p>boy saw his mom and dad "doing it" and the next</p><p>morning he said to his mom, "Mommy, last night I</p><p>saw you and daddy making cake and I licked the</p><p>icing off the bed."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"><span style="color: Red">yyyyyyyy</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p>There was a young maid from Belfast</p><p>Who had trouble getting it past</p><p>The warts and the scabs</p><p>That she got from the lads</p><p>Who wiped their tools on her arse.</p><p></p><p>A dyke and a queer named Groom</p><p>Were planning their honeymoon</p><p>Groom said "My dear</p><p>It's not very clear</p><p>Who should do what to whom".</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">On The Footpath</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little boy was on the footpath, playing with shit.</p><p>A postman rode up and asked him what he was doing.</p><p>"I'm making a postman!" the kid declared.</p><p>Then a little old lady came up and asked him what he was doing.</p><p>The little boy replied, "I'm making a little old lady!"</p><p>The old lady was so disgusted that she went to the local cop shop</p><p>and reported the little boy.</p><p>A short while later, a big policeman strolled down and approached</p><p>the boy.</p><p>"G'day, little fella," he said. I know what you're doing - your</p><p>making a policeman."</p><p>The little boy looked up at the cop and smiled.</p><p>"Fuck off!" he said. "I ain't got enough shit for that!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====================</span></strong></p><p>Q. How do you make a hormone?</p><p>A. Kick her in the guts.</p><p></p><p>Q. What's charred and stands between two sticks?</p><p>A. A burnt cripple.</p><p></p><p>Q. What do women & dog turds have in common?</p><p>A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">====================</span></strong></p><p>This little boy comes home from school, he sees his mom and says,</p><p>"Mom, what's a cunt?"</p><p>Shocked, his mother says "Where on earth did you hear that kind of</p><p>language?! Go tell your father what you said to me!"</p><p>So the little boy goes downstairs to see his dad in the basement, and</p><p>says, "Dad, what's a cunt?" His father takes out a playboy centerfold,</p><p>and draws a circle around the girl's pubic area with a pencil. The Dad</p><p>says, "Son, see this? That's a pussy. Everything outside that circle is</p><p>a cunt!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063601587, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] Duck Hunting[/COLOR][/B] One Friday night a man tells his wife that he is going duck hunting in the morning. She says, "I want to go too." He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up." She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will wake up early." He says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to screw you up the ass or you are going to give me a blow job." She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because I will wake up." 3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The man gets up and tries to wake up his wife. She's still laying there and he tells her that he is going to take a shower and when he gets out she'd better be up. He gets out of the shower and she is still sleeping. He tells her he is going to give her one more chance to wake up. He has to go out and get their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and when he comes back in she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's out there about 30 minutes and when he comes back in his wife is snoring. He is pissed. He wakes her up. He said, "OK now what's it going to be? In the ass or a blow job?" She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so I will give you a blow job." He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on it. Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!" He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to wake up either." [B][COLOR="Red"]yyyyyyyy[/COLOR][/B] A little boy and his mother were driving down the road one day and the little boy saw 2 dogs "doing it." He asked his mom what they were doing. She answered, "They're making cake." Later on he saw 2 cows "doing it" and he asked his mom what they were doing. Again she answered, "They're making cake." Later that night the little boy saw his mom and dad "doing it" and the next morning he said to his mom, "Mommy, last night I saw you and daddy making cake and I licked the icing off the bed." [B][COLOR="Teal"][COLOR="Red"]yyyyyyyy[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B] There was a young maid from Belfast Who had trouble getting it past The warts and the scabs That she got from the lads Who wiped their tools on her arse. A dyke and a queer named Groom Were planning their honeymoon Groom said "My dear It's not very clear Who should do what to whom". [B][COLOR="Teal"]On The Footpath[/COLOR][/B] A little boy was on the footpath, playing with shit. A postman rode up and asked him what he was doing. "I'm making a postman!" the kid declared. Then a little old lady came up and asked him what he was doing. The little boy replied, "I'm making a little old lady!" The old lady was so disgusted that she went to the local cop shop and reported the little boy. A short while later, a big policeman strolled down and approached the boy. "G'day, little fella," he said. I know what you're doing - your making a policeman." The little boy looked up at the cop and smiled. "Fuck off!" he said. "I ain't got enough shit for that!" [B][COLOR="Red"]====================[/COLOR][/B] Q. How do you make a hormone? A. Kick her in the guts. Q. What's charred and stands between two sticks? A. A burnt cripple. Q. What do women & dog turds have in common? A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up! [B][COLOR="Red"]====================[/COLOR][/B] This little boy comes home from school, he sees his mom and says, "Mom, what's a cunt?" Shocked, his mother says "Where on earth did you hear that kind of language?! Go tell your father what you said to me!" So the little boy goes downstairs to see his dad in the basement, and says, "Dad, what's a cunt?" His father takes out a playboy centerfold, and draws a circle around the girl's pubic area with a pencil. The Dad says, "Son, see this? That's a pussy. Everything outside that circle is a cunt!" [/QUOTE]
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