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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063601587" data-attributes="member: 14320"> Duck HuntingOne Friday night a man tells his wife that he is going duck huntingin the morning.She says, "I want to go too."He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up."She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will wake up early."He says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to screw you upthe ass or you are going to give me a blow job."She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because I will wake up."3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The man gets up and triesto wake up his wife. She's still laying there and he tells her thathe is going to take a shower and when he gets out she'd better be up.He gets out of the shower and she is still sleeping. He tells her heis going to give her one more chance to wake up. He has to go out andget their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and when he comes backin she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's out there about30 minutes and when he comes back in his wife is snoring.He is pissed. He wakes her up.He said, "OK now what's it going to be? In the ass or a blow job?"She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so I will give you ablow job."He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on it.Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!"He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to wake up either."yyyyyyyyA little boy and his mother were driving down theroad one day and the little boy saw 2 dogs "doingit." He asked his mom what they were doing. Sheanswered, "They're making cake." Later on hesaw 2 cows "doing it" and he asked his momwhat they were doing. Again she answered,"They're making cake." Later that night the littleboy saw his mom and dad "doing it" and the nextmorning he said to his mom, "Mommy, last night Isaw you and daddy making cake and I licked theicing off the bed."yyyyyyyyThere was a young maid from BelfastWho had trouble getting it pastThe warts and the scabsThat she got from the ladsWho wiped their tools on her arse.A dyke and a queer named GroomWere planning their honeymoonGroom said "My dearIt's not very clearWho should do what to whom".On The FootpathA little boy was on the footpath, playing with shit.A postman rode up and asked him what he was doing."I'm making a postman!" the kid declared.Then a little old lady came up and asked him what he was doing.The little boy replied, "I'm making a little old lady!"The old lady was so disgusted that she went to the local cop shopand reported the little boy.A short while later, a big policeman strolled down and approachedthe boy."G'day, little fella," he said. I know what you're doing - yourmaking a policeman."The little boy looked up at the cop and smiled."Fuck off!" he said. "I ain't got enough shit for that!"====================Q. How do you make a hormone?A. Kick her in the guts.Q. What's charred and stands between two sticks?A. A burnt cripple.Q. What do women & dog turds have in common?A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up!====================This little boy comes home from school, he sees his mom and says,"Mom, what's a cunt?"Shocked, his mother says "Where on earth did you hear that kind oflanguage?! Go tell your father what you said to me!"So the little boy goes downstairs to see his dad in the basement, andsays, "Dad, what's a cunt?" His father takes out a playboy centerfold,and draws a circle around the girl's pubic area with a pencil. The Dadsays, "Son, see this? That's a pussy. Everything outside that circle isa cunt!"</blockquote>

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sifus,

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