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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063605276" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">More Things Not To Say In Bed With Someone...</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. You know you want me to.</p><p>2. You suck it-like an ice cream cone.</p><p>3. You brought the condoms, right?</p><p>4. Let's have a flesh fest.</p><p>5. What's your last name?</p><p>6. I believe in only fivesomes.</p><p>7.. Don't tell anybody, OK?</p><p>8. The condom is on inside out.</p><p>9. You don't believe in bestiality?</p><p>10. I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig.</p><p>11.. Wait! I need my teddy bear.</p><p>12. Let me go wash my face real fast.</p><p>13. I've got pussy breath.</p><p>14. I'm gonna throw up.</p><p>15. But I wanted to bite it.</p><p>16. You broke my nail!</p><p>17. Have you ever seen Basic Instinct?</p><p>18. Are you a virgin?</p><p>19. Shooey! You're better than Mom.</p><p>20. Do you trust me, I mean, really trust me?</p><p>21. I wanna go muff diving.</p><p>22. My dad did it differently</p><p>23. Huh? I'm sorry. I fell asleep.</p><p>24. Who needs birth control?</p><p>25. The ceiling needs painting.</p><p>26. Swallowing is a lot neater.</p><p>27. Oh, baby, you're so good. (Said sarcastically.)</p><p>28. Do you mind if I draw blood?</p><p>29. Ever lick someone's anus?</p><p>30. My ex was much better.</p><p>31. How much do I owe you?</p><p>32. I can't find the key.</p><p>33. What do you mean, you can't find the key?</p><p>34. I'm hungry for some hair pie.</p><p>35. You don't mind if I film, do you?</p><p>36. Can I beat you with my love stick?</p><p>37. Where am I?</p><p>38. It's Mr. Pastyface!</p><p>39. Why don't you just bend over and smile.</p><p>40. I forgot to lock the door.</p><p>41. Leave the TV on.</p><p>42. That's $20 for the first hour, right?</p><p>43. I think a blindfold would make you feel better.</p><p>44. Do you always smell like that?</p><p>45. How about some fellatio?</p><p>46. Is it in yet?</p><p>47. When was the last time you did this?</p><p>48. Cullulite makes me horny.</p><p>49. What's your name again?</p><p>50. Meet my pet sheep, Stud.</p><p>51. Are you done yet?</p><p>52. Oh, I've got my period. I forgot. I'm sorry.</p><p>53. I thought you were your sister.</p><p>54. I thought you'd never climax.</p><p>55. Meet Russel the Love Muscle.</p><p>56. I'm really really drunk..</p><p>57. Your stretch marks turn me on.</p><p>58. Did you have an orgasm?</p><p>59.. My name is really Andy Dugger.</p><p>60. Glad we got that over with.</p><p>61. Your cushion lends me to some real good pushin'.</p><p>62. If you tell anyone, I'll kill you.</p><p>63. If you loved me you would.</p><p>64. You mean you're only fourteen?--Yeah.</p><p>65. Mr. Head wants some.</p><p>66. Ooh, I love small penises.</p><p>67. I'm gonna suck your cl-- like a straw.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Making Out</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A teenage boy and his steady girlfriend were making out in his</p><p>parked car, when the boy got really turned on, and said, "Please</p><p>darlin', I can't take it anymore, I have to get some relief."</p><p>His girl replies, "You know I am saving myself until we get</p><p>married!"</p><p>He continues to plead and begs her, "What if I just put the head in</p><p>for a while, just let me marinate it a little?"</p><p>Finally getting a bit steamed up herself, she reluctantly agrees,</p><p>but says, only if it's the head.</p><p>So he anxiously unzips and</p><p>fumbling, puts the head of his manhood into the softness of her</p><p>secret treasure and that's all he does, well for about 30 seconds</p><p>anyway, but in the heat of passion, he gets carried away and before</p><p>you know it he's put it in entirely and is pumping away with deep</p><p>thrusts for all he's worth.</p><p>After a few minutes his lady love moans and thrilling to the</p><p>mounting pleasure and a new awareness, haltingly gasps "I know we</p><p>have this deal, that you are only putting the head in, but... this</p><p>feels so damn good, go ahead and give it all to me!"</p><p>Jolted to his senses, stopping in mid thrust, but thinking quickly</p><p>our hero responds, "Nope, a deals a deal."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~~~~~~~~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An arrogant wench from Salt Lake</p><p>Liked to tease all the boys on the make.</p><p>She was finally the prize</p><p>Of a man twice her size</p><p>And all she recalls is the ache.</p><p></p><p>There was a young man named Keith,</p><p>Who liked to be fondled beneath,</p><p>When she'd start with her lips,</p><p>Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips...</p><p>But not when the bitch used her teeth!</p><p></p><p>There was a young lady of Dover</p><p>Whose passion was such that it drove her.</p><p>To cry, when you came,</p><p>"Oh dear! What a shame!</p><p>Well, now we shall have to start over."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063605276, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]More Things Not To Say In Bed With Someone...[/COLOR][/B] 1. You know you want me to. 2. You suck it-like an ice cream cone. 3. You brought the condoms, right? 4. Let's have a flesh fest. 5. What's your last name? 6. I believe in only fivesomes. 7.. Don't tell anybody, OK? 8. The condom is on inside out. 9. You don't believe in bestiality? 10. I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig. 11.. Wait! I need my teddy bear. 12. Let me go wash my face real fast. 13. I've got pussy breath. 14. I'm gonna throw up. 15. But I wanted to bite it. 16. You broke my nail! 17. Have you ever seen Basic Instinct? 18. Are you a virgin? 19. Shooey! You're better than Mom. 20. Do you trust me, I mean, really trust me? 21. I wanna go muff diving. 22. My dad did it differently 23. Huh? I'm sorry. I fell asleep. 24. Who needs birth control? 25. The ceiling needs painting. 26. Swallowing is a lot neater. 27. Oh, baby, you're so good. (Said sarcastically.) 28. Do you mind if I draw blood? 29. Ever lick someone's anus? 30. My ex was much better. 31. How much do I owe you? 32. I can't find the key. 33. What do you mean, you can't find the key? 34. I'm hungry for some hair pie. 35. You don't mind if I film, do you? 36. Can I beat you with my love stick? 37. Where am I? 38. It's Mr. Pastyface! 39. Why don't you just bend over and smile. 40. I forgot to lock the door. 41. Leave the TV on. 42. That's $20 for the first hour, right? 43. I think a blindfold would make you feel better. 44. Do you always smell like that? 45. How about some fellatio? 46. Is it in yet? 47. When was the last time you did this? 48. Cullulite makes me horny. 49. What's your name again? 50. Meet my pet sheep, Stud. 51. Are you done yet? 52. Oh, I've got my period. I forgot. I'm sorry. 53. I thought you were your sister. 54. I thought you'd never climax. 55. Meet Russel the Love Muscle. 56. I'm really really drunk.. 57. Your stretch marks turn me on. 58. Did you have an orgasm? 59.. My name is really Andy Dugger. 60. Glad we got that over with. 61. Your cushion lends me to some real good pushin'. 62. If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. 63. If you loved me you would. 64. You mean you're only fourteen?--Yeah. 65. Mr. Head wants some. 66. Ooh, I love small penises. 67. I'm gonna suck your cl-- like a straw. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Making Out[/COLOR][/B] A teenage boy and his steady girlfriend were making out in his parked car, when the boy got really turned on, and said, "Please darlin', I can't take it anymore, I have to get some relief." His girl replies, "You know I am saving myself until we get married!" He continues to plead and begs her, "What if I just put the head in for a while, just let me marinate it a little?" Finally getting a bit steamed up herself, she reluctantly agrees, but says, only if it's the head. So he anxiously unzips and fumbling, puts the head of his manhood into the softness of her secret treasure and that's all he does, well for about 30 seconds anyway, but in the heat of passion, he gets carried away and before you know it he's put it in entirely and is pumping away with deep thrusts for all he's worth. After a few minutes his lady love moans and thrilling to the mounting pleasure and a new awareness, haltingly gasps "I know we have this deal, that you are only putting the head in, but... this feels so damn good, go ahead and give it all to me!" Jolted to his senses, stopping in mid thrust, but thinking quickly our hero responds, "Nope, a deals a deal." [B][COLOR="Red"]~~~~~~~~[/COLOR][/B] An arrogant wench from Salt Lake Liked to tease all the boys on the make. She was finally the prize Of a man twice her size And all she recalls is the ache. There was a young man named Keith, Who liked to be fondled beneath, When she'd start with her lips, Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips... But not when the bitch used her teeth! There was a young lady of Dover Whose passion was such that it drove her. To cry, when you came, "Oh dear! What a shame! Well, now we shall have to start over." [/QUOTE]
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