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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063633799" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"</p><p>The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let have a look".</p><p>"Oh, my God!!" says the doctor, " what could have made a hole as big as that?"</p><p>Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant."</p><p>The doctor says "An elephant's penis is long and thin, tis hole is enormous."</p><p>Patient replies "He fingered me first."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Little Suzie is sitting in a barber shop, eating a Hostess snack cake while the barber cuts her hair.</p><p>A customer passes by and says, "Sweetheart, you're getting hair on your Twinkie."</p><p>Little Suzie looks up with a big smile and said, "I know, and I'm getting tits, too!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your mama's so fat . . .</p><p>She pulled her panties down to her ankles and she still had cunt in them!</p><p></p><p>Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.</p><p></p><p>Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife.</p><p></p><p>Yo mama's so greasy, she squeezes Crisco from her hair to bake cookies.</p><p></p><p>Yo mama's so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant.</p><p></p><p></p><p>One day two gay homosexuals, Bruce and Bill started to run low on</p><p>money and they agreed to both go looking for a job. Then next day</p><p>Bruce comes in and says I have a job but I have to get up early in</p><p>the morning. So Bruce and Bill cut out their usual sex night that</p><p>night.</p><p>The next morning Bruce gets up and Bill is not around. Then Bruce</p><p>takes a shower and gets ready to go to work. He comes down stair</p><p>and sees Bill masturbating in a brown paper bag. Bruce says,</p><p>"Bill what are you doing?" Bill reply's "I am packing your lunch!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>A worried young man from Stamboul,</p><p>Found lots of red spots on his tool,</p><p>Said the doctor a cynic, "Get out of my clinic!",</p><p>Just wipe off the lipstick you fool!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>In the garden of Eden sat Adam,</p><p>Massaging the bust of his madam,</p><p>He chuckled with mirth, For he knew that on earth,</p><p>There were only two boobs and HE'D had em.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Top Ten Things Men Would Do If They Woke Up And Had A Vagina For A Day:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.</p><p>9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.</p><p>8. See if he could finally do the splits.</p><p>7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.</p><p>6. Cross his legs without rearranging their crotch.</p><p>5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.</p><p>4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.</p><p>3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.</p><p>2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too....</p><p>And, the NUMBER ONE thing men did when they woke up with a vagina...Finally find that damned spot.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">o0o0o0o0o0</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Holemak Cards : What Hallmark Doesn't Print!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look</p><p>at the bright side, it's really good pay.</p><p></p><p>2. My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked</p><p>at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!</p><p></p><p>3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's</p><p>a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.</p><p></p><p>4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh,</p><p>when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.</p><p></p><p>5. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine</p><p>I got real snippy.</p><p></p><p>6. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But</p><p>don't fret about it, she moved in with me.</p><p></p><p>7. You totaled your car and can't remember why. Could it</p><p>have been, that whole case of Bud Dry?</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">o0o0o0o0o0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>The doctor approached the husband who was in the waiting room while his wife was being examined. The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news." "What's the bad news?" "Your wife has syphilis." The husband exclaimed, "What could possibly be 'good news' with a situation like that?" The doctor replied, "She didn't get it from you."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063633799, member: 14320"] Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass" The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let have a look". "Oh, my God!!" says the doctor, " what could have made a hole as big as that?" Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant." The doctor says "An elephant's penis is long and thin, tis hole is enormous." Patient replies "He fingered me first." Little Suzie is sitting in a barber shop, eating a Hostess snack cake while the barber cuts her hair. A customer passes by and says, "Sweetheart, you're getting hair on your Twinkie." Little Suzie looks up with a big smile and said, "I know, and I'm getting tits, too!" Your mama's so fat . . . She pulled her panties down to her ankles and she still had cunt in them! Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife. Yo mama's so greasy, she squeezes Crisco from her hair to bake cookies. Yo mama's so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant. One day two gay homosexuals, Bruce and Bill started to run low on money and they agreed to both go looking for a job. Then next day Bruce comes in and says I have a job but I have to get up early in the morning. So Bruce and Bill cut out their usual sex night that night. The next morning Bruce gets up and Bill is not around. Then Bruce takes a shower and gets ready to go to work. He comes down stair and sees Bill masturbating in a brown paper bag. Bruce says, "Bill what are you doing?" Bill reply's "I am packing your lunch!" A worried young man from Stamboul, Found lots of red spots on his tool, Said the doctor a cynic, "Get out of my clinic!", Just wipe off the lipstick you fool!" In the garden of Eden sat Adam, Massaging the bust of his madam, He chuckled with mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two boobs and HE'D had em. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Top Ten Things Men Would Do If They Woke Up And Had A Vagina For A Day:[/COLOR][/B] 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if he could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross his legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.... And, the NUMBER ONE thing men did when they woke up with a vagina...Finally find that damned spot. [B][COLOR="Red"]o0o0o0o0o0[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Holemak Cards : What Hallmark Doesn't Print![/COLOR][/B] 1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. 2. My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry! 3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 5. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I got real snippy. 6. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But don't fret about it, she moved in with me. 7. You totaled your car and can't remember why. Could it have been, that whole case of Bud Dry? [B][COLOR="Red"]o0o0o0o0o0[/COLOR][/B] The doctor approached the husband who was in the waiting room while his wife was being examined. The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news." "What's the bad news?" "Your wife has syphilis." The husband exclaimed, "What could possibly be 'good news' with a situation like that?" The doctor replied, "She didn't get it from you." [/QUOTE]
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