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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063639000" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">More Sexual Caloric Content</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><em>It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary"</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>research they are proud to present the results.</em></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p>REMOVING HER CLOTHES:</p><p>With her consent....................................12 Calories</p><p>Without her consent...............................2187 Calories</p><p></p><p>OPENING HER BRA:</p><p>With both hands......................................8 Calories</p><p>With one hand.......................................12 Calories</p><p>With your teeth....................................485 Calories</p><p></p><p>PUTTING ON A CONDOM:</p><p>With an erection.....................................6 Calories</p><p>Without an erection...............................3315 Calories</p><p></p><p>POSITIONS:</p><p>Missionary..........................................12 Calories</p><p>69 lying down.......................................78 Calories</p><p>69 standing up.....................................812 Calories</p><p>Wheelbarrow........................................216 Calories</p><p>Doggy Style........................................326 Calories</p><p>Italian chandelier................................2912 Calories</p><p></p><p>ORGASMS:</p><p>Real...............................................112 Calories</p><p>Fake..............................................1315 Calories</p><p></p><p>POST ORGASM:</p><p>Lying in bed hugging................................18 Calories</p><p>Getting up immediately..............................36 Calories</p><p>Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..........816 Calories</p><p></p><p>GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:</p><p>20-29 years.........................................36 Calories</p><p>30-39 years.........................................80 Calories</p><p>40-49 years........................................124 Calories</p><p>50-59 years.......................................1972 Calories</p><p>60-69 years.......................................7916 Calories</p><p>70 and over...........................Results are still pending</p><p></p><p>DRESSING AFTERWARDS:</p><p>Calmly..............................................32 Calories</p><p>In a hurry..........................................98 Calories</p><p>With her father knocking at the door..............5218 Calories</p><p>With your wife knocking at the door.............13,521 Calories</p><p></p><p>Results may vary.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?</p><p>A. He's down to four butts a day.</p><p></p><p>Q. What does a poof and an ambulance have in common?</p><p>A. They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!</p><p></p><p>Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?</p><p>A. He found a hare up his ass.</p><p></p><p>Q. Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?</p><p>A. So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.</p><p></p><p>Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers?</p><p>A. They exchanged loads. </p><p></p><p><span style="color: Teal"><strong>Weekly Friday Show</strong></span></p><p></p><p>To the couple fucking on the third floor apt across the street from my office:</p><p></p><p>We at X Associates would like to thank you for your weekly Friday show. every Friday at 4 we can count on you to get it on and on and on.</p><p></p><p>I must admit my surprise in a city full of skyscrapers that someone in a third floor apt in midtown doesn't see the need for window coverings of any sort especially when there is a 17 floor office building across the street.</p><p></p><p>I only can assume you are feeling the need to keep up with the porn shop that opened up on the first floor of your building. though I question your intelligence I applaud your lusty lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>Last weeks super freaky positions sex was great fun. all the engineers here are still trying to work out the logistics on a couple of those positions, and we are fairly sure that one of them is physically impossible due to the stresses it would put on the female body.</p><p></p><p>This weeks theme seems to be speed fucking from behind...and was that a third person in the room we saw, we aren't sure but oh what randy fun. and once again we are amused, and titillated.</p><p></p><p>You have no idea what a welcome break you bring when the call comes from that side of our office that the fuckers are at it again.</p><p></p><p>The cubicles clear out and you have 20 some odd men, and one woman (me) pressed against the windows.</p><p></p><p>As much as we enjoy the current show we do have some ideas that could really bring it to the next level of enjoyment for your adoring viewers.</p><p></p><p>1. Invest in some kind of glare free glass for the window. the glare gets nasty on overcast days like today and we could barely make out who was slapping who on the ass.</p><p></p><p>2. Move a bit closer to the window...not too close, just say a foot. this give us the viewer the premium viewing situation.</p><p></p><p>3. Man...get rid of the chubby girl, from certain angles well she is just too much woman for us.</p><p></p><p>4. Sex against the window, just think about the fun that would be had for all, you then could see us we could see you, it would be a wonderous intimate act for the 25 of us.</p><p></p><p>5. Maybe add one more show a week, I know last week you did a bonus wednesday show and it went over great, it really warmed us up for friday.</p><p></p><p>I would really like once again to thank you on behalf of us all here at X Associates. you make what is the best day of the work week here even better, because nothing can beat seeing two young people as yourself fuck like monkeys right before we leave this hellhole for the weekend.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063639000, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]More Sexual Caloric Content[/COLOR] [I]It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.[/I][/B] REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent....................................12 Calories Without her consent...............................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands......................................8 Calories With one hand.......................................12 Calories With your teeth....................................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection.....................................6 Calories Without an erection...............................3315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary..........................................12 Calories 69 lying down.......................................78 Calories 69 standing up.....................................812 Calories Wheelbarrow........................................216 Calories Doggy Style........................................326 Calories Italian chandelier................................2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real...............................................112 Calories Fake..............................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging................................18 Calories Getting up immediately..............................36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..........816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years.........................................36 Calories 30-39 years.........................................80 Calories 40-49 years........................................124 Calories 50-59 years.......................................1972 Calories 60-69 years.......................................7916 Calories 70 and over...........................Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly..............................................32 Calories In a hurry..........................................98 Calories With her father knocking at the door..............5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door.............13,521 Calories Results may vary. Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. He's down to four butts a day. Q. What does a poof and an ambulance have in common? A. They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo! Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit? A. He found a hare up his ass. Q. Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A. So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse. Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers? A. They exchanged loads. [COLOR="Teal"][B]Weekly Friday Show[/B][/COLOR] To the couple fucking on the third floor apt across the street from my office: We at X Associates would like to thank you for your weekly Friday show. every Friday at 4 we can count on you to get it on and on and on. I must admit my surprise in a city full of skyscrapers that someone in a third floor apt in midtown doesn't see the need for window coverings of any sort especially when there is a 17 floor office building across the street. I only can assume you are feeling the need to keep up with the porn shop that opened up on the first floor of your building. though I question your intelligence I applaud your lusty lifestyle. Last weeks super freaky positions sex was great fun. all the engineers here are still trying to work out the logistics on a couple of those positions, and we are fairly sure that one of them is physically impossible due to the stresses it would put on the female body. This weeks theme seems to be speed fucking from behind...and was that a third person in the room we saw, we aren't sure but oh what randy fun. and once again we are amused, and titillated. You have no idea what a welcome break you bring when the call comes from that side of our office that the fuckers are at it again. The cubicles clear out and you have 20 some odd men, and one woman (me) pressed against the windows. As much as we enjoy the current show we do have some ideas that could really bring it to the next level of enjoyment for your adoring viewers. 1. Invest in some kind of glare free glass for the window. the glare gets nasty on overcast days like today and we could barely make out who was slapping who on the ass. 2. Move a bit closer to the window...not too close, just say a foot. this give us the viewer the premium viewing situation. 3. Man...get rid of the chubby girl, from certain angles well she is just too much woman for us. 4. Sex against the window, just think about the fun that would be had for all, you then could see us we could see you, it would be a wonderous intimate act for the 25 of us. 5. Maybe add one more show a week, I know last week you did a bonus wednesday show and it went over great, it really warmed us up for friday. I would really like once again to thank you on behalf of us all here at X Associates. you make what is the best day of the work week here even better, because nothing can beat seeing two young people as yourself fuck like monkeys right before we leave this hellhole for the weekend. [/QUOTE]
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