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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063656690" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>"Do Something!"</p><p></p><p>John is in bed with a girl and no matter what he does, he just can't seem to</p><p>get an erection.</p><p></p><p>She says, "Come on, will you? Do SOMETHING !"</p><p></p><p>He says, "Like what?"</p><p></p><p>She says, "Put your foot in."</p><p></p><p>He sticks his foot in, and she has one hell of a good old time riding it.</p><p></p><p>A few days later, his foot is swelling up, has a runny, red rash, and it's</p><p>starting to itch. He goes to the doctor to have it looked at.</p><p></p><p>The doctor says calmly, "Well, my friend, it seems you have gonorrhea of the</p><p>big toe."</p><p></p><p>John says, "GONORRHEA OF THE BIG TOE? Shit, Doc, I bet that's pretty rare!"</p><p></p><p>The doctor says, "Yeah, it's pretty rare. Of course, it's not as rare as</p><p>the girl who was in here this morning with athlete's pussy.</p><p></p><p>@@@</p><p></p><p>When I was young and in my prime I used to jack off all the time now im</p><p>older with more sense I use a knot hole in the fence.</p><p></p><p>@@@</p><p></p><p>Squirrel Bait meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's</p><p>go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."</p><p></p><p>She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you</p><p>LOOK at it."</p><p></p><p>They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down</p><p>on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he</p><p>gets out his lighter.</p><p></p><p>He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so</p><p>curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."</p><p></p><p>She says, "Thank you."</p><p></p><p>He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"</p><p></p><p>She says, "Go ahead."</p><p></p><p>He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"</p><p></p><p>She says, "Of course."</p><p></p><p>He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire.</p><p></p><p>A Rare Disease</p><p></p><p>Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease</p><p>and his doctor told him could drink only human milk.</p><p></p><p>"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.</p><p></p><p>"Well, Ruby Finkelstein's just had a baby, maybe she'll help."</p><p></p><p>So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby</p><p>was a dark eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself,</p><p>gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts. One</p><p>day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr.</p><p>Rugelbaum, do</p><p>you like it?"</p><p></p><p>"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.</p><p></p><p>"Is there," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there</p><p>anything else you'd like?"</p><p></p><p>"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel</p><p></p><p>"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.</p><p></p><p>Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little cookie?"</p><p></p><p>11111</p><p></p><p>SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS:</p><p>HEARING AIDS, Band-Aids, ROLL AIDS,</p><p>WALKING AIDS, MEDICAL AIDS,</p><p>GOVERNMENT AID, AND MOST OF ALL ,</p><p>MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR CHILDREN.</p><p></p><p>11111</p><p></p><p>THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST</p><p></p><p>I CANNOT SEE, I CANNOT PEE,</p><p>I CANNOT CHEW, I CANNOT SCREW</p><p>MY MEMORY SHRINKS, MY HEARING STINKS,</p><p>NO SENSE OF SMELL, I LOOK LIKE HELL,</p><p>MY BODY'S DROOPING, GOT TROUBLE POOPING</p><p>SO THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST.</p><p>WELL, THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY ASS!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063656690, member: 14320"] "Do Something!" John is in bed with a girl and no matter what he does, he just can't seem to get an erection. She says, "Come on, will you? Do SOMETHING !" He says, "Like what?" She says, "Put your foot in." He sticks his foot in, and she has one hell of a good old time riding it. A few days later, his foot is swelling up, has a runny, red rash, and it's starting to itch. He goes to the doctor to have it looked at. The doctor says calmly, "Well, my friend, it seems you have gonorrhea of the big toe." John says, "GONORRHEA OF THE BIG TOE? Shit, Doc, I bet that's pretty rare!" The doctor says, "Yeah, it's pretty rare. Of course, it's not as rare as the girl who was in here this morning with athlete's pussy. @@@ When I was young and in my prime I used to jack off all the time now im older with more sense I use a knot hole in the fence. @@@ Squirrel Bait meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks." She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it." They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL." She says, "Thank you." He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?" She says, "Go ahead." He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?" She says, "Of course." He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire. A Rare Disease Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease and his doctor told him could drink only human milk. "How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor. "Well, Ruby Finkelstein's just had a baby, maybe she'll help." So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby was a dark eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself, gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts. One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr. Rugelbaum, do you like it?" "Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed. "Is there," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there anything else you'd like?" "As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel "What?" Ruby asked breathlessly. Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little cookie?" 11111 SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS: HEARING AIDS, Band-Aids, ROLL AIDS, WALKING AIDS, MEDICAL AIDS, GOVERNMENT AID, AND MOST OF ALL , MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR CHILDREN. 11111 THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST I CANNOT SEE, I CANNOT PEE, I CANNOT CHEW, I CANNOT SCREW MY MEMORY SHRINKS, MY HEARING STINKS, NO SENSE OF SMELL, I LOOK LIKE HELL, MY BODY'S DROOPING, GOT TROUBLE POOPING SO THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST. WELL, THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY ASS!!! [/QUOTE]
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