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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063663571" data-attributes="member: 14320">Two Redneck BoysTwo redneck boys are sitting in their redneck class oneday when they realize they can see straight up their Pollackteacher's skirt and she wasn't wearing any underwear..One says to the other, "What do you suppose those littlebrown things are? They look like raisins. She musta hadraisins at lunch and dropped some in her lap."The other says "Naw - them's dung balls from the waywomen wipe their asses.""Nope - them's raisins."Finally, they approach the teacher and ask her. "Johnnysays them things around your snatch is raisins and I saythey're dung balls from the way you wipe your ass. Whichone's right?""Neither, " replied the Pollack teacher kindly. "They're flies."A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."A man from the Internal Revenue Service knocks on a door and it is opened by a little boy. The man asks the boy, "Where is your mother?" The boy states, "She's in the backyard, screwing the goat." The man exclaims, "Son, it's not nice to make up stories like that!" The boy says, "Come on in and I'll show you." So the taxman follows the little boy to the back of the house and looks out the window into the backyard. There, he sees a woman screwing a goat. Disgusted, he turns to the boy and says, "That is gross! Doesn't that bother you?" The little boy answers, "Naaaaaaaaah!" Hair sprayA little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."@@@A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. 'What are you doing here?' the captain asked. She got up off the ground and explained, "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors. He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me."The captain looked at her, "He sure is lady, this is the Staten Island Ferry.'@@@Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"."I've been circumcised.", the other replied."What's that mean?""It means they cut the skin off the end.""How old were you when it was cut off?""My mom said I was two days old.""Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly."You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"</blockquote>