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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063678507" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">If Women Ruled The World.....</span></strong></p><p></p><p>....Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.</p><p></p><p>....PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.</p><p></p><p>....Men would get reputations for sleeping around.</p><p></p><p>...Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.</p><p></p><p>...A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing</p><p></p><p>.....Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.</p><p></p><p>....Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.</p><p></p><p>...."Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.</p><p></p><p>....Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.</p><p></p><p>....Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.</p><p></p><p>....Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"</p><p></p><p>....Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.</p><p></p><p>....Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.</p><p></p><p>....Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.</p><p></p><p>....Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."</p><p></p><p>....Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.</p><p></p><p>....Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.</p><p></p><p>...Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.</p><p></p><p>....All toilet seats would be nailed down.</p><p></p><p>....Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.</p><p></p><p>....TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.</p><p></p><p>....All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator</p><p></p><p>....During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.</p><p></p><p>....Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.</p><p></p><p>....After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.</p><p></p><p>....For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Why I Play With My Cunt</span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p>· BECAUSE I WAS NOT BREASTFED</p><p>· BECAUSE MY CRIB WAS PADDED AND I LIKE THE FEEL OF STEEL</p><p>· BECAUSE I WAS SPANKED BY MY BABYSITTER</p><p>· BECAUSE THE KIDS USED TO CALL ME HALF-BREED</p><p>· BECAUSE MY FATHER IGNORED ME AND MY MOTHER FUCKED THE BOTTLE</p><p>· BECAUSE MY BROTHER JERKED OFF TO AUNT JAMIMA</p><p>· BECAUSE MY DOG WAS KEPT IN BONDAGE TIL THE DAY HE DIED</p><p>· BECAUSE A WHITEBOY TOOK MY VIRGINITY</p><p>· BECAUSE I WAS NEVER TAUGHT HOMOSEXUALITY IN HEALTH CLASS</p><p>· BECAUSE THE SANDMAN WAS A LESBIAN</p><p>· BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD</p><p>· BECAUSE MY CUNT IS SELFISH</p><p>· BECAUSE IT'S SELF-GRATIFICATION</p><p>· BECAUSE MY PERIOD FEELS LIKE A BULLFIGHT</p><p>· BECAUSE I HATE THE SMELL OF PORK</p><p>· BECAUSE I LOVE THE TASTE OF PUSSY</p><p>· BECAUSE I CAN'T FIST MY OWN ASSHOLE</p><p>· BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS</p><p>· BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE A BABY WHEN I SHAVE IT</p><p>· BECAUSE MY PLATFORM HEEL WON'T FIT INSIDE</p><p>· BECAUSE MY VIBRATOR ISN'T POWERFUL ENOUGH</p><p>· BECAUSE TRANSSEXUALS TURN ME THE FUCK ON</p><p>· BECAUSE SCENES FROM CALIGULA RUN THROUGH MY HEAD</p><p>· BECAUSE CINDERELLA WASN'T MY SLAVE</p><p>· BECAUSE IT THROBS LIKE A DICK</p><p>· BECAUSE I SLEEP ALONE</p><p>· BECAUSE OF THE QUESTION OF DEATH</p><p>· BECAUSE FRIDAY FOSTER SAYS I'M A PERVERT</p><p>· BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF TREE VIRGINS IN HORSETAILS</p><p>· BECAUSE MY DOUBLE-DONG WAS STOLEN</p><p>· BECAUSE I SMOKED MY LAST CIGARETTE</p><p>· BECAUSE I WANT TO SPIT-SHINE PRINCE'S BOOTS</p><p>· BECAUSE I HATE SLOPPY BLOW-JOBS</p><p>· BECAUSE THERE ARE NO MORE VIRGINS</p><p>· BECAUSE I CAN'T GIVE THE GOVERNMENT AN ENEMA</p><p>· BECAUSE WHORES BECAME EXPENSIVE</p><p>· BECAUSE I HATE THE THOUGHT OF CLOTHING</p><p>· BECAUSE I'M THE BORDERLINE OF A DYKE AND A BOY</p><p>· BECAUSE I WANT TO BE SADDDLED AND TRAINED LIKE A HORSE</p><p>· BECAUSE SLAVERY WAS IN MY ROOTS AND I THIRST S&M</p><p>· BECAUSE I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH PUSSY</p><p>· BECAUSE THE SOUND OF A WOMAN'S VOICE OVER THE PHONE</p><p>· BECAUSE WHEN IT'S WET IT GLAZES MY FINGERS</p><p>· BECAUSE I WANT TO BE GANG-BANGED BY FEMALE INMATES</p><p>· BECAUSE I WANT TO FUCK FOR FOOD AND WATER</p><p>· BECAUSE I WASN'T BORN IN A CHASTITY BELT</p><p>· BECAUSE I LIKE TO WORK MY PUSSY</p><p>· BECAUSE I WAS BORN A BITCH</p><p>· BECAUSE I LIKE MORE THAN ONE ORGASM</p><p>· BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU' TO ANYONE</p><p>· BECAUSE IN MY MIND I CAN BE FUCKING ANYONE I WANT</p><p>· BECAUSE IT'S HEALTHY</p><p>· BECAUSE I'M A VAIN BITCH AND ONLY I KNOW HOW TO LOVE MYSELF...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063678507, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]If Women Ruled The World.....[/COLOR][/B] ....Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams. ....PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. ....Men would get reputations for sleeping around. ...Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. ...A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing .....Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. ....Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. ...."Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models. ....Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. ....Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. ....Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks" ....Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made. ....Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. ....Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. ....Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit." ....Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. ....Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. ...Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. ....All toilet seats would be nailed down. ....Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. ....TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. ....All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator ....During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds. ....Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. ....After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. ....For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Why I Play With My Cunt[/COLOR][/B] · BECAUSE I WAS NOT BREASTFED · BECAUSE MY CRIB WAS PADDED AND I LIKE THE FEEL OF STEEL · BECAUSE I WAS SPANKED BY MY BABYSITTER · BECAUSE THE KIDS USED TO CALL ME HALF-BREED · BECAUSE MY FATHER IGNORED ME AND MY MOTHER FUCKED THE BOTTLE · BECAUSE MY BROTHER JERKED OFF TO AUNT JAMIMA · BECAUSE MY DOG WAS KEPT IN BONDAGE TIL THE DAY HE DIED · BECAUSE A WHITEBOY TOOK MY VIRGINITY · BECAUSE I WAS NEVER TAUGHT HOMOSEXUALITY IN HEALTH CLASS · BECAUSE THE SANDMAN WAS A LESBIAN · BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD · BECAUSE MY CUNT IS SELFISH · BECAUSE IT'S SELF-GRATIFICATION · BECAUSE MY PERIOD FEELS LIKE A BULLFIGHT · BECAUSE I HATE THE SMELL OF PORK · BECAUSE I LOVE THE TASTE OF PUSSY · BECAUSE I CAN'T FIST MY OWN ASSHOLE · BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS · BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE A BABY WHEN I SHAVE IT · BECAUSE MY PLATFORM HEEL WON'T FIT INSIDE · BECAUSE MY VIBRATOR ISN'T POWERFUL ENOUGH · BECAUSE TRANSSEXUALS TURN ME THE FUCK ON · BECAUSE SCENES FROM CALIGULA RUN THROUGH MY HEAD · BECAUSE CINDERELLA WASN'T MY SLAVE · BECAUSE IT THROBS LIKE A DICK · BECAUSE I SLEEP ALONE · BECAUSE OF THE QUESTION OF DEATH · BECAUSE FRIDAY FOSTER SAYS I'M A PERVERT · BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF TREE VIRGINS IN HORSETAILS · BECAUSE MY DOUBLE-DONG WAS STOLEN · BECAUSE I SMOKED MY LAST CIGARETTE · BECAUSE I WANT TO SPIT-SHINE PRINCE'S BOOTS · BECAUSE I HATE SLOPPY BLOW-JOBS · BECAUSE THERE ARE NO MORE VIRGINS · BECAUSE I CAN'T GIVE THE GOVERNMENT AN ENEMA · BECAUSE WHORES BECAME EXPENSIVE · BECAUSE I HATE THE THOUGHT OF CLOTHING · BECAUSE I'M THE BORDERLINE OF A DYKE AND A BOY · BECAUSE I WANT TO BE SADDDLED AND TRAINED LIKE A HORSE · BECAUSE SLAVERY WAS IN MY ROOTS AND I THIRST S&M · BECAUSE I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH PUSSY · BECAUSE THE SOUND OF A WOMAN'S VOICE OVER THE PHONE · BECAUSE WHEN IT'S WET IT GLAZES MY FINGERS · BECAUSE I WANT TO BE GANG-BANGED BY FEMALE INMATES · BECAUSE I WANT TO FUCK FOR FOOD AND WATER · BECAUSE I WASN'T BORN IN A CHASTITY BELT · BECAUSE I LIKE TO WORK MY PUSSY · BECAUSE I WAS BORN A BITCH · BECAUSE I LIKE MORE THAN ONE ORGASM · BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU' TO ANYONE · BECAUSE IN MY MIND I CAN BE FUCKING ANYONE I WANT · BECAUSE IT'S HEALTHY · BECAUSE I'M A VAIN BITCH AND ONLY I KNOW HOW TO LOVE MYSELF... [/QUOTE]
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