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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063691278" data-attributes="member: 14320">Lacey KnickersTwo pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they cameacross a pair of small lacey knickers on the ground.The first one picks them up, smells them and goes:"Aahhh... A seven-year-old girl".The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and goes:"No, no ... Definitely an eight-year-old girl!"The two of them are then smelling them in turns and arguing:"An eight-year-old!", "No, a seven-year-old!", "Definitely an eight-year-old!" ... and so on.The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't helpbut ask them what the commotion is all about.The first pedophile tells the priest, and asks him if he could sort outthe argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff,and after pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says:"Definitely an eight-year-old girl!... but not from my parish!"====================The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics videobecause we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and startedto copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other'sarms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I hadaccidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake!How we laughed!!!!====================Q. What's the worst thing about growing unemployment?A. It gets harder to fuck your girlfriend with her husband home.Q. What's the similarity between a carton of milk and a woman?A. They both need their flaps pushed back before you can get to thegood bits.====================for forty days I drove a truckforty women I began to fuckthirty women I knocked upif that's not fucking I give upAn Orphanage Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia. One day,the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leaveand seek their way in life."You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremelysinful world." she said. "I must warn you that men will take advantageof you. They'll do anything to get their way. They'll take you torestaurants, buy you drinks and dinner, then back to their apartmentsand motels where they'll undress you, do terrible things, give youtwenty or thirty dollars and kick you out.""Excuse me, Mother." one of the girls asked. "You mean men will takeadvantage of us and give us cash?""Yes child, why do you ask?""Because the priests only give us candy!"yyyyyHow can you tell your daughter's being abused at her day-care center?You hand her a broom and she straddles it.How can you tell your son's being abused at his day-care center?He won't use a pacifier unless it's got hair on ityyyyyA heckler asks an overweight comedian "How come youare so fat?" The comedian replies Well, everytime Iscrewed your mother, she gave me a biscuit."yyyyyMary: I suspect that my ex used to visit prostitutes before we met.Jill: What makes you think so?Mary: Well, one night we were just playing around, and he picked me upand headed for the bedroom.Jill: So?Mary: So I giggled and asked, "Should I struggle?" And he asked, "Idon't know. Does that cost extra?"</blockquote>

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