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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063693710" data-attributes="member: 14320">Where'd You Do It Last?If you don't laugh at the end of reading this then there's somethingwrong with you... Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to workand hearing this. Many Chicago folks did hear this on the WBAM FMmorning show in Chicago.The DJ's play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game iscalled "Mate Match". The DJ's call someone at work and ask if they aremarried or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers"yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (withphone number) for Verification.If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they bothwin the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago madethe City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and ispossibly the funniest thing I have heard yet. Anyway, here's how it allwent down:DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you heard of Mate Match?"Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."DJ: "Great! Then you know were giving away a trip to Orlando, Floridaif you win. What is your name? First only please.Contestant: "Brian."DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?Brian: "Yes."DJ: "Yes? Does that mean that you're married or you're what?"Brian: (laughing nervously "Yes I am married."DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."Brian: "Sarah"DJ: "Is Sarah at work, Brian?"Brian: "She's gonna kill me."DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work"Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"Brian: "She is gonna kill me."DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! "Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"Brian: "About 10 minutes."DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have saidthat if a trip wasn't at stake."Brian: "Yeah, a trip would be nice."DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock thismorning?"Brian: Laughing Hard " I ummm, I, well..."DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with usfor a couple of weeks..."DJ: "Uh Huh..."Brian:"...and the Mother In Law was in the shower at the time."DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."Brian: "On the kitchen table."DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundredtimes I have done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get hiswife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."Three Minutes of Commercials FollowDJ: "OK audience, let's call Sarah, shall we? "(touch tones...ringing..)Clerk: "Kinkos."DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"Clerk: "This is she."DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar from WBAM, we are live on the air and I haveBeen speaking with Brian for a couple hours now."Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not togive any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooo do you know the rules of'Mate Match'?"Sarah: "No"DJ: "Good"Brian: (laughing)Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"Brian: (laughing) "Just answer the questions honestly, okay? Becompletely honest."DJ: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. Ifyour answers match Brian's answers, then both of you are off to Orlando,Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World, Sea World, Tickets to the Magicsgame. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."DJ: "Alright, when did you last have sex, Sara?"Sarah: "Oh God, Brian...uh, this morning before Brian went to work."DJ: "What time?"Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."DJ: "Hmmmm. That's good enough. I am sure she is trying to protect hismanhood. We've got one last question,Sarah. You are one last question away from a trip to Florida. Are youready?"Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."DJ: "Where did you have it?"Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"Brian: "Just tell him, honey."DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"Sarah: "Well..."DJ: "Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?"Sarah: "In the ass...."After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a stationbreak." The 98 Year Old ManThere was a 98 year old man who moved into a nursing home.For his age, he was very fit and in really good shape. The nursinghome's doctor came in to give him his physical and the man said,"How old do you think I am?"The doctor checked his heart and lungs and had him do a fewexercises and said, "I would say you were around 78." The old man smiled told the doctor that he was actually 98years old.The man was walking out of the doctor's office and saw alittle old lady sitting there. She was pretty gray and was allbent over. The man said to the lady, "How old do you think I am?"She looked him over pretty good then told him to pull downhis pants. He did as he was told. Then she told him to pull hisunderwear down also. He obeyed. She reached over and fondled hisvarious parts and counterparts. She kept this up for quitesometime. She appeared to be in deep concentration. She finallylooked up at the man and said, "I'd say you were 98."The man was stunned! He said, "How could you tell?""I heard you tell the doctor."nnnnA man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital."How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man."What's the food like?""Terrific, wonderful menus.""And the nursing?""Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you.""What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?""No problem at all, nine hours solid every night.At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagratablet...and that's it. I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes offto question the nurse in charge."What are you people doing?," he says, "I'm told you're giving an85-year-old man Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?""Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give hima cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well.The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops himfrom rolling out of bed."nnnnHave you heard about the woman who had sex with a racehorse?She's now in a stable condition.Why is it that a woman can guide a 1.5" diameter penis into an inchdiameter vagina in pitch black darkness without looking and cannot parka 6 foot car in a 7 foot parking spot in broad daylight?</blockquote>

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