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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063695148" data-attributes="member: 14320">Sacred PlaceThe young lady at the confessional said, "Father, put it in mypussy!""No, child, the vulva is the sacred place whereby you deliveranother child of God," replied the Priest."Oh, Father, put it in my mouth then!" begged the young woman."No, child, the mouth is the sacred place whereby you eat the sacredHost," said the Priest "So put it under my armpit!" asked the younglady."No, child, the armpit is the sacred place where you carry the HolyBible," replied the Priest."OK, Father, then just take it out of my ass cause it hurts!"xxxxxThere once was a man name HomerWho had a kidney stone stuck in his boner.He did scream and shoutWhen they yanked that sucker out.And his piss shot all the way to Tacoma!An Abbot Running ErrandsThe abbot of a nearby abbey was out in the city running errandsdowntown when he saw a woman of questionable character say to apasserby,"Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which point the passerby and thewoman promptly went down the next alley, where they went out ofview.The abbot was perplexed, for the very same thing occurred atanother street corner in the city. He was walking down asidewalk, when another woman, much the same as the first, statedto another passerby, "Twenty bucks for a blowjob," at which pointthe two rapidly went into a nearby alley, where the abbotcouldn't see what was going on.Still not knowing what a "blowjob" was, the abbot left the cityas naive as he was upon entering it. Back up the hill, the abbotwas still contemplating what a blowjob was, so he went to see themother superior at the adjacent convent."Mother superior," he asked, "what's a blowjob?""Twenty bucks, same as downtown!"==========Being a gardener I turned up at a house to do some work. When the door opened a beautiful young woman smiled, said hello and explained that her bush needed a little trim, she said I could take my tools round the back and to give it a good fork too. But first she wanted me to take a look at her little flower she had upstairs. As I followed her up the stairs I could see she was wearing no knickers and she had a lovely little pussy with a tight ass. She pulled me into the bedroom and bent over the bed and said "Can you repot my flower, it's needed doing for a long time?"So I picked up her orchid (which was bone dry!!) and took it downstairs to give it a good watering before I repotted it. Some people can't even look after a simple orchid, fucking retards.==========Q: How do most men define marriage?A: An expensive way to get their laundry done for free.First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in boiling water?A: Stu.Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs holding down arailroad tie?A: Spike.Q: What do you call a cat with no arms and no legs?A: Dog food.Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a forest fire?A: Bernie.Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs stuck in a quarry?A: Rocky.Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?A: Divorced.Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?A: The vegetable garden.Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?A: The back of her head.</blockquote>

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