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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063696166" data-attributes="member: 14320">Three DaughtersThere was a father who was very proud of his three daughters. Everynight he took a stroll around the house to make sure everything was allright. One night when he was doing his stroll, he could hear laughter comingfrom his youngest daughter's room. He stood there for a while and thoughtabout this, but reached the conclusion that he could always ask her tomorrow,instead of bothering her at this time of the night. When he reached the window of his second daughter, he could hear her crying. He thought about this too, butultimately he decided to ask her tomorrow and continued. There were no sounds atall coming from his oldest daughter's room, and he then went to bed, satisfied.The next day, when they all were gathered around the breakfast table, he saidto his youngest daughter "I heard you laughing last night, as I walked pastyour window.Why was that?"She answered "That's because you taught me to laugh when someone wasmaking me happy..."He then asked his second daughter "I heard you crying last night,why was that?"She answered "That's because you taught me to cry when someone wasmaking me hurt..."He then told his oldest daughter "I didn't hear anything fromyou..."She said "That's because you taught me not to talk with my mouthfull..."@@@A boy walks up to his dad and ask him "Dad what is that thingbetween a girls legs that has hair on it?"His dad said, "Well son that is called a vagina."His son thought about that for a minute and then ask, "OK then, whatis that little thing that looks like a really small penis in a woman'svagina?""Well they call that a clitoris son," said the father."OK dad, just one more question... What is that really smooth peiceof skin that is below a woman's vagina?"The boys dad thinks about this for a minute and says, "Well son, Idon't know the medical term for it but I just call it a chin rest."An Irish Mother's LetterDear Son,Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read very fast.You won't know the house when you come home. We've moved.About your father, he has got a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days and then for 4 days. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in 7 days, up she comes.Your loving Mother,P.S. I was going to send you 5 pounds, but I have already sealed the envelope.The inexperienced young Bob was smitten with Sue who was sittingbeside him in his parked car. Looking at her in the light of thefull moon, he gently placed his hand on her knee and said, "Sue....I think I love you."With a knowing smile, she put her hand on his and said, "HigherBob."Clearing his throat, Bob said, "Sue.... I think I love you!" in acracked falsetto.There was a young harlot of CreteWhose fucking was far, far too fleet.So they tied down her assWith a long ton of brassTo give them a much longer treat.When the Nazis landed in CreteThe young harlot had to competeWith the many Storm TroopersWho were using their poopersFor other things than to excrete.Our subversive young harlot of CreteWas led to fifth-column deceit.When the paratroops landedHer trade she expandedBy at once going down on their meat.Then here was this harlot of CreteShe decided to be very neat.She said, "I'm too high classTo ream common ass,And I'll wash every prick that I eat."And at last this young harlot of CreteWas hawking her meat in the street.Ambling out one fine dayIn a casual wayShe clapped up the whole British fleet.</blockquote>