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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063697401" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">More Words You Do Not Want To Hear During Sex</span></strong></p><p></p><p>* "You feel almost as good as my wife."</p><p></p><p>* "You know, your mother is so much better!"</p><p></p><p>* "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"</p><p></p><p>* "Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!!!</p><p></p><p>* "Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."</p><p></p><p>* "Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"</p><p></p><p>* "Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol</p><p>* "Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on</p><p>in one minute."</p><p></p><p>* "Is it hurting? I can't even feel it."</p><p></p><p>"* Is it in yet?"</p><p></p><p>* "Do you think your sister would like to join us?"</p><p></p><p>* "Finished! I didn't think you started yet."</p><p></p><p>* "But you said you would be through by the time the commercial was</p><p>over."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">______________________________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I met this fine lady on the Cape</p><p>Who had a wee bit to much grape</p><p>And thought sex might just be fine</p><p>Til she took the measure of mine</p><p>An was left with her mouth agape</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">______________________________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Rum & ice will ruin your liver.</p><p>Whiskey & ice will ruin your heart.</p><p>Gin & ice will ruin your brain.</p><p>Pepsi & ice will ruin your teeth.</p><p>Apparently ice is lethal!!!</p><p>Beer is OK , no ice!</p><p></p><p>Warn all your friends:... Lay off the ice ~ Just drink it straight!</p><p></p><p>(Don't forget it also sank the Titanic)!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Cannibals</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A cannibal was walking through the jungle and</p><p>came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow</p><p>cannibal.</p><p></p><p>Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and</p><p>looked over the menu....</p><p></p><p>+ Tourist: $8.00</p><p>+Broiled Missionary: $10.00</p><p>+Fried Explorer: $12.50</p><p>+Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00</p><p></p><p>The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,</p><p>"Why such a high price for the Politicians?"</p><p></p><p>The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to clean</p><p>one? They're so full of crap, it takes all day."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">000000000</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A good ole boy walks up to a good ole girl and says "Howdy. How you</p><p>like to come up to my place and have a little fun?" "Well, I've</p><p>heard about you good ole boys. Where exactly are you from?" "I'm</p><p>from Kentucky, way up in the hills." "Oh, I've heard about you guys</p><p>from Kentucky," she said, "you guys will screw pigs and goats and</p><p>cows and chickens..." He interrupts in a very indignant tone,</p><p>"CHICKENS?!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">000000000</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I was busy sipping on my vodka when I overheard a group of ladies</p><p>having a discussion. One was saying how her daughter was very</p><p>meticulous and fastidious about herself and the enthusiasm she had</p><p>for getting good grades. She said she hoped she would not be so</p><p>anal as time went on. Whereupon a blonde in the group who was</p><p>showing off her newly acquired breasts, chimed in with, "I used to</p><p>be that way too, but as the years passed I've become less anal and</p><p>more oral and vaginal."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063697401, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]More Words You Do Not Want To Hear During Sex[/COLOR][/B] * "You feel almost as good as my wife." * "You know, your mother is so much better!" * "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" * "Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!!! * "Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV." * "Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?" * "Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol * "Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on in one minute." * "Is it hurting? I can't even feel it." "* Is it in yet?" * "Do you think your sister would like to join us?" * "Finished! I didn't think you started yet." * "But you said you would be through by the time the commercial was over." [B][COLOR="Red"]______________________________[/COLOR][/B] I met this fine lady on the Cape Who had a wee bit to much grape And thought sex might just be fine Til she took the measure of mine An was left with her mouth agape [B][COLOR="Red"]______________________________[/COLOR][/B] Rum & ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey & ice will ruin your heart. Gin & ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi & ice will ruin your teeth. Apparently ice is lethal!!! Beer is OK , no ice! Warn all your friends:... Lay off the ice ~ Just drink it straight! (Don't forget it also sank the Titanic)! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Cannibals[/COLOR][/B] A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.... + Tourist: $8.00 +Broiled Missionary: $10.00 +Fried Explorer: $12.50 +Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for the Politicians?" The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all day." [B][COLOR="Red"]000000000[/COLOR][/B] A good ole boy walks up to a good ole girl and says "Howdy. How you like to come up to my place and have a little fun?" "Well, I've heard about you good ole boys. Where exactly are you from?" "I'm from Kentucky, way up in the hills." "Oh, I've heard about you guys from Kentucky," she said, "you guys will screw pigs and goats and cows and chickens..." He interrupts in a very indignant tone, "CHICKENS?!" [B][COLOR="Red"]000000000[/COLOR][/B] I was busy sipping on my vodka when I overheard a group of ladies having a discussion. One was saying how her daughter was very meticulous and fastidious about herself and the enthusiasm she had for getting good grades. She said she hoped she would not be so anal as time went on. Whereupon a blonde in the group who was showing off her newly acquired breasts, chimed in with, "I used to be that way too, but as the years passed I've become less anal and more oral and vaginal." [/QUOTE]
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