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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063697401" data-attributes="member: 14320">More Words You Do Not Want To Hear During Sex* "You feel almost as good as my wife."* "You know, your mother is so much better!"* "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"* "Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!!!* "Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."* "Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"* "Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol* "Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming onin one minute."* "Is it hurting? I can't even feel it.""* Is it in yet?"* "Do you think your sister would like to join us?"* "Finished! I didn't think you started yet."* "But you said you would be through by the time the commercial wasover."______________________________I met this fine lady on the CapeWho had a wee bit to much grapeAnd thought sex might just be fineTil she took the measure of mineAn was left with her mouth agape______________________________Rum & ice will ruin your liver.Whiskey & ice will ruin your heart.Gin & ice will ruin your brain.Pepsi & ice will ruin your teeth.Apparently ice is lethal!!!Beer is OK , no ice!Warn all your friends:... Lay off the ice ~ Just drink it straight!(Don't forget it also sank the Titanic)!CannibalsA cannibal was walking through the jungle andcame upon a restaurant operated by a fellowcannibal.Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down andlooked over the menu....+ Tourist: $8.00+Broiled Missionary: $10.00+Fried Explorer: $12.50+Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,"Why such a high price for the Politicians?"The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to cleanone? They're so full of crap, it takes all day."000000000A good ole boy walks up to a good ole girl and says "Howdy. How youlike to come up to my place and have a little fun?" "Well, I'veheard about you good ole boys. Where exactly are you from?" "I'mfrom Kentucky, way up in the hills." "Oh, I've heard about you guysfrom Kentucky," she said, "you guys will screw pigs and goats andcows and chickens..." He interrupts in a very indignant tone,"CHICKENS?!"000000000I was busy sipping on my vodka when I overheard a group of ladieshaving a discussion. One was saying how her daughter was verymeticulous and fastidious about herself and the enthusiasm she hadfor getting good grades. She said she hoped she would not be soanal as time went on. Whereupon a blonde in the group who wasshowing off her newly acquired breasts, chimed in with, "I used tobe that way too, but as the years passed I've become less anal andmore oral and vaginal."</blockquote>

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