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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063697993" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Jerry Springers Future Stories</span></strong></p><p></p><p>If you like watching your Dad and Mom have sex on their own website, call 1-800-Jerry and tell your story!</p><p>If your father's sister's mother's aunt's grandfather's nephew's cousin is your bi-sexual lover and they want you to have sex while the family watches, but you're against it... Please Call 1-800-69-JERRY</p><p>Are you a transsexual with a story to tell? Call Associate Producer Deb at 888-321-5387</p><p>IF YOUR MOM IS YOUR COUSIN, AUNT, UNCLE AND DAD AND YOU HAVE THE URGE TO HAVE HER CHILDREN-CALL 1-800-JERRY AND SHARE YOUR STORY.</p><p>Does your college roommate beat off in the middle of the night and you want to confront him call us at 1-800-Jerry</p><p>Are you a bald, one legged male prostitute, And want to confront your one eyed pimp on our show? Call 1-800-JERRY</p><p>Are you a schizophrenic necrophiliac, and 3 different personalities want to propose to your canine companion? Call 1-800-Jerry</p><p>If your penis is 2 inches.......from the ground call 1-800-hi-Jerry </p><p>Is your gay son using your douche to satisfy his gay needs?? If so call 1-800-89-Jerry </p><p>Is your dad a cross-dressing pedophile? If so call 1-800-96Jerry </p><p>If your father is your mother's cousin and you are currently having an affair with your sister(or is it your aunt?)</p><p>Are you a pregnant prostitute who is in love with your pimp and his girlfriend and want to confront them both on our show? Call 1-800 96JERRY</p><p>Is your gay lover having an affair with both your parents? Then call 1-800 Jerry Jokes.</p><p>If your mom is thinking of becoming a man to satisfy your father's gay curiosity,please call us at 1-800 Jerry jokes!!</p><p>Is your Dad a Grand Dragon in the KKK, and you are having an interracial sex affair? If so, call 1 800 Jerry and tell us your story!</p><p>Do you suspect your wife or partner of having sexual relations with the family pet? Call 1 800 Jerry and tell us your story! </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Paul's Answer To Chain Emails!</span></strong></p><p></p><p><em><strong>Hello, my name is Paul and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Tumbarumba with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?</p><p></p><p>How stupid are we?</p><p></p><p>Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"</p><p></p><p>What a bunch of bullshit.</p><p></p><p>Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Endeavour.</p><p></p><p>Fuck 'em.</p><p></p><p>If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being".</p><p></p><p>I don't fucking care.</p><p></p><p>Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.</p><p></p><p>The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.</p><p></p><p>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.</p><p></p><p>Now forward this to everyone you know.</p><p></p><p>Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will</p><p>consume your genitals.</p><p></p><p>Have a nice day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063697993, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Jerry Springers Future Stories[/COLOR][/B] If you like watching your Dad and Mom have sex on their own website, call 1-800-Jerry and tell your story! If your father's sister's mother's aunt's grandfather's nephew's cousin is your bi-sexual lover and they want you to have sex while the family watches, but you're against it... Please Call 1-800-69-JERRY Are you a transsexual with a story to tell? Call Associate Producer Deb at 888-321-5387 IF YOUR MOM IS YOUR COUSIN, AUNT, UNCLE AND DAD AND YOU HAVE THE URGE TO HAVE HER CHILDREN-CALL 1-800-JERRY AND SHARE YOUR STORY. Does your college roommate beat off in the middle of the night and you want to confront him call us at 1-800-Jerry Are you a bald, one legged male prostitute, And want to confront your one eyed pimp on our show? Call 1-800-JERRY Are you a schizophrenic necrophiliac, and 3 different personalities want to propose to your canine companion? Call 1-800-Jerry If your penis is 2 inches.......from the ground call 1-800-hi-Jerry Is your gay son using your douche to satisfy his gay needs?? If so call 1-800-89-Jerry Is your dad a cross-dressing pedophile? If so call 1-800-96Jerry If your father is your mother's cousin and you are currently having an affair with your sister(or is it your aunt?) Are you a pregnant prostitute who is in love with your pimp and his girlfriend and want to confront them both on our show? Call 1-800 96JERRY Is your gay lover having an affair with both your parents? Then call 1-800 Jerry Jokes. If your mom is thinking of becoming a man to satisfy your father's gay curiosity,please call us at 1-800 Jerry jokes!! Is your Dad a Grand Dragon in the KKK, and you are having an interracial sex affair? If so, call 1 800 Jerry and tell us your story! Do you suspect your wife or partner of having sexual relations with the family pet? Call 1 800 Jerry and tell us your story! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Paul's Answer To Chain Emails![/COLOR][/B] [I][B]Hello, my name is Paul and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Tumbarumba with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.[/B][/I] Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!" What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Endeavour. Fuck 'em. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being". I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. Have a nice day. [/QUOTE]
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