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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063706333" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"> Nasty Chit</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Little Johnny, a 5th grade student has a penis so large, his parents</p><p>warned him not to have anything to do with girls.</p><p>They cautioned him he could easily kill someone. </p><p>Through the grapevine, his teacher learns about his unusual size, keeps</p><p>him after school and suggests they have sex.</p><p></p><p>He refuses expressing concern he might kill her. She laughs and scoffs</p><p>at the idea and says she will elect to be on top, in complete control,</p><p>and nothing bad can happen.</p><p></p><p>He reluctanly agrees but the teacher experiences such wonderful</p><p>sensations, she faints from pure joy.</p><p></p><p>Thinking that he's killed her, Johnny runs from the classroom sobbing</p><p>and crying, "Oh my God!...I killed her! I killed her!"</p><p>All at once he stops dead in his tracks, and look of dawning</p><p>comprehension appears on his face as he says,</p><p>"Wait just a minute! I didn't kill her. </p><p>The dumb bitch committed suicide!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">:-);-0;-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):</span></strong></p><p></p><p>This old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to</p><p>say she is asking for it, so when they get into bed on the wedding</p><p>night she asks him 'So are we going to have rampant sex tonight?"</p><p>The man responds by raising his hand and outstretching his fingers.</p><p>"What? Five times?" asks the eager girl.</p><p>"No", he replied. "Pick a finger'. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Charlie's an embalmer, and one day he says to his boss, "There's a problem with Mrs. Whittaker."</p><p>The boss says, "What's that?"</p><p>Charlie says, "I was getting her cleaned up when I noticed a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy."</p><p>The boss says, "That's impossible. Show me."</p><p>They go to the table where she's lying, Charlie flips back the sheet, points, and says, "See?</p><p>There's a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy."</p><p>The boss takes a closer look and says, "You jerk, that's not a piece of shrimp.</p><p>That's her clit."</p><p>Charlie says, "Her clit? Well, it sure tasted like shrimp." </p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">50 Years Of Marriage</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A married couple is celebrating 50 years of marriage.</p><p>He had taken her to dinner and dancing to celebrate.</p><p>They were reflecting over the past 50 years.</p><p></p><p>She said, "You have given me everything that any woman</p><p>could desire, 2 beautiful children that grew up and</p><p>became a doctor and a lawyer.</p><p>A beautiful home and a new car every three years.</p><p>The kids have given us grandchildren, and we love them too death.</p><p>If there is anything I haven't given you,</p><p>all you need do is ask."</p><p></p><p>"Well, the husband says, there is one thing."</p><p></p><p>"What is that," says the wife?</p><p></p><p>"A blow job," says the husband.</p><p></p><p>The wife thinks for a moment and says,</p><p>"I have never given you a blow job, because I didn't think you</p><p>would respect me after that.</p><p>But, since we have been together 50 years,</p><p>surely you would respect me now, so ok."</p><p></p><p>So she unzips his pants, pulls out his penis and</p><p>proceeds to give him a blow job.</p><p>Just as she finishes and wipes her chin, the phone rings.</p><p></p><p>The husbands answers and says,</p><p>"Yes, right here. Hold on a moment.</p><p>Here, cocksucker, it's for you."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">O0O0O0O0O0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>You know cocks come in 5 different sizes...</p><p>1) Small</p><p>2) Medium</p><p>3) Large</p><p>4) X-large</p><p>5) and does that come in White?</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">O0O0O0O0O0</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What do women and condoms have in common?</p><p>They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.</p><p>What do Jell-O and a woman have in common?</p><p>They both wiggle when you eat them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063706333, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"] Nasty Chit[/COLOR][/B] Little Johnny, a 5th grade student has a penis so large, his parents warned him not to have anything to do with girls. They cautioned him he could easily kill someone. Through the grapevine, his teacher learns about his unusual size, keeps him after school and suggests they have sex. He refuses expressing concern he might kill her. She laughs and scoffs at the idea and says she will elect to be on top, in complete control, and nothing bad can happen. He reluctanly agrees but the teacher experiences such wonderful sensations, she faints from pure joy. Thinking that he's killed her, Johnny runs from the classroom sobbing and crying, "Oh my God!...I killed her! I killed her!" All at once he stops dead in his tracks, and look of dawning comprehension appears on his face as he says, "Wait just a minute! I didn't kill her. The dumb bitch committed suicide!" [B][COLOR="Red"]:-);-0;-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):[/COLOR][/B] This old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to say she is asking for it, so when they get into bed on the wedding night she asks him 'So are we going to have rampant sex tonight?" The man responds by raising his hand and outstretching his fingers. "What? Five times?" asks the eager girl. "No", he replied. "Pick a finger'. Charlie's an embalmer, and one day he says to his boss, "There's a problem with Mrs. Whittaker." The boss says, "What's that?" Charlie says, "I was getting her cleaned up when I noticed a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy." The boss says, "That's impossible. Show me." They go to the table where she's lying, Charlie flips back the sheet, points, and says, "See? There's a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy." The boss takes a closer look and says, "You jerk, that's not a piece of shrimp. That's her clit." Charlie says, "Her clit? Well, it sure tasted like shrimp." [B][COLOR="Teal"]50 Years Of Marriage[/COLOR][/B] A married couple is celebrating 50 years of marriage. He had taken her to dinner and dancing to celebrate. They were reflecting over the past 50 years. She said, "You have given me everything that any woman could desire, 2 beautiful children that grew up and became a doctor and a lawyer. A beautiful home and a new car every three years. The kids have given us grandchildren, and we love them too death. If there is anything I haven't given you, all you need do is ask." "Well, the husband says, there is one thing." "What is that," says the wife? "A blow job," says the husband. The wife thinks for a moment and says, "I have never given you a blow job, because I didn't think you would respect me after that. But, since we have been together 50 years, surely you would respect me now, so ok." So she unzips his pants, pulls out his penis and proceeds to give him a blow job. Just as she finishes and wipes her chin, the phone rings. The husbands answers and says, "Yes, right here. Hold on a moment. Here, cocksucker, it's for you." [B][COLOR="Red"]O0O0O0O0O0[/COLOR][/B] You know cocks come in 5 different sizes... 1) Small 2) Medium 3) Large 4) X-large 5) and does that come in White? [B][COLOR="Red"]O0O0O0O0O0[/COLOR][/B] What do women and condoms have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis. What do Jell-O and a woman have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them. [/QUOTE]
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