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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063715411" data-attributes="member: 14320">Let Me Tell You A Secret, Girls...Sometimes I think about girls and then I realize how dumbthey truly are. Sure, they claim to be just as smart as men, butthey're really not. If it were up to me, I would make a law thatsays a law can simply be a statement, and then I would make a lawthat says women are dumb.Women, no matter how much they claim that they do, don'tunderstand men. So I'm going to tell them a not-so-secret secret.Everything men do boils down to wanting to fuck more girls.That's right, ladies. Every decision I make and every action I take iscarefully designed to maximize the probability of me fucking more girls.All I do everyday is sit around and think of ways I can get more sex.Places I'd fuck, girls I'd fuck, girls I've fucked, sweaty men I'd like to ...see at a football game with a girl before I fuck her, ... it's sickening!For example, here is what I do on a daily basis, and why:Why do I go to the gym?So I can get buffer so more girls will want to fuck me.Why do I have a job?So I have money to buy girls drinks so they get drunk andthey will want to fuck me.Why do I care what clothes I wear?Because for some reason girls seem to care, so the betterclothes I wear, the better impression I make on girls andthe more they will want to fuck me.Why do I bathe?Because girls care about stupid things like cleanliness, so if mybody is clean, the more they will want to press their naked bodiesagainst my naked body and the more they will want to fuck me.Why do I ask girls how they're doing?So they think I care about them and the more they will want to fuck me.Why do I fuck girls?So I can get better at fucking girls so more girls will want to fuck me.It's not just limited to my daily activities, either. Every one of mylife goals revolves around wanting to fuck more girls, too!Why do I want to win the Nobel Prize?So I can fuck more hot librarians.Why do I want to form my own awesome band?So I can fuck hot groupie whores.Why do I want to become an astronaut?So I can take girls into space and fuck girls in akickass low-gravity environment.Why do I want to become a rich, powerful CEO?So I can fuck hot gold-diggers.Why do I want to get married?So when I'm super old and no girls want to fuck me, I stillhave a girl to fuck.Why do I want to end world hunger?Because it'd be great to have some hot Somalian bitchesgrow old enough to fuck before they die so I can fuck them.Why do I want to make my kickass website even more kickass?Because girls love guys with kickass websites and more girls willwant to fuck me.See? It's completely ridiculous! Men are reading this and thinking"this is so true." Women know it's true, but act shocked and disgusted,anyway because if they acted any other way, men would call them astupid slut. Ha ha!That double-standard makes me laugh a hearty laugh.In case a woman was reading this and didn't understand this columnbecause she's a woman and is too stupid, here's a complete andcomprehensive summary of everything I've written thus far:MEN .... WANT .... PUSSY!The Englishman, The Irishman, And The ScotsmanThe Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over toplace her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lackof underwear."Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husbanddemanded."Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For thesake of decency, here's $30. Go and buy yourself some underwear."Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Herskirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies."Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's$20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirtover her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it."Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrdany."The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'oJasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."&&&Q. What do you call a Nazi tampon?A. A twatztika.Q. What does a woman say to a man who she has just had sex with?A. Say whatever she wants... he's asleep.&&&Kathi: So this guy strolled over to me at the party, all cocky and sureof himself.Lisa: Yeah? So what happened?Kathi: He said, "You know, gentlemen prefer blondes." I said, "Well, ifyou could see my pubic hair, you'd know I'm not a natural blonde."He said, "If I could see your pubic hair, I wouldn't care WHAT color thehair on your head is!”</blockquote>

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