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JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063749340" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Out On A Date</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way.</p><p></p><p>"Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"</p><p></p><p>He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?"</p><p></p><p>"Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."</p><p></p><p>So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.</p><p></p><p>"What's wrong?!" she cries out.</p><p></p><p>"Take your thumb off the end!!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A few months after his parents were divorced,</p><p>Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw</p><p>her rubbing her body and moaning,</p><p>"I need a man, I need a man!"</p><p></p><p>Over the next couple of months,</p><p>He saw her doing this several times.</p><p>One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.</p><p>When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.</p><p>Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes,</p><p>Threw himself on his bed,</p><p>Started stroking himself, and moaning,</p><p>"I need a bike! I need a bike!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063749340, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Out On A Date[/COLOR][/B] A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way. "Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!" He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?" "Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that." So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain. "What's wrong?!" she cries out. "Take your thumb off the end!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~[/COLOR][/B] A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog. [B][COLOR="Red"]~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~[/COLOR][/B] A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, He saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, Threw himself on his bed, Started stroking himself, and moaning, "I need a bike! I need a bike!" [/QUOTE]
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