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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063765611" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Huge Bullfrog</span></strong> </p><p></p><p>A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend a</p><p>pet. After looking around she realized that all the</p><p>pets there were very expensive.</p><p></p><p>A clerk came up and</p><p>asked if there's something he could help her with.</p><p>"I wanted to buy my boyfriend a pet, but all of yours</p><p>are so expensive!" She says.</p><p>"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the</p><p>back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?"</p><p>"$50.00?? For a Frog??" said the woman.</p><p></p><p>The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It's gives BJs."</p><p></p><p>So, the woman decides to buy the frog. She takes it</p><p>home to her boyfriend, explains the frog and they're</p><p>both happy. The woman goes to bed.</p><p></p><p>Around two in the morning she is awakened by pots</p><p>and pans banging around in the kitchen. She gets up</p><p>to go see what's going on and when she gets to the</p><p>kitchen she sees her boyfriend and the frog sitting at</p><p>the kitchen table looking through cookbooks.</p><p></p><p>"What are you two doing looking through cookbooks</p><p>at this hour?" says the woman.</p><p></p><p>The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach</p><p>this frog to cook, your butt is out of here!!!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">---------</span></strong></p><p></p><p>An out-of-towner becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress in his</p><p>hotel coffee shop, and invites her up to his room.</p><p></p><p>She is indignant.</p><p></p><p>The guy says, "Don't get excited. This is all in the Bible."</p><p></p><p>Thelma is appeased, and after her shift they go out and have a few</p><p>drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and again she is</p><p>angry.</p><p></p><p>The man explains, "It's in the Bible."</p><p></p><p>An hour later they're in the guy's hotel room and he suggests they</p><p>undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn't sinful</p><p>since it's in the Bible.</p><p></p><p>"Where?" she says. "Where does it say that?"</p><p></p><p>Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to the front</p><p>cover where someone has written, "Thelma the waitress is a great</p><p>lay."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Female Slogans</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.</p><p>2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.</p><p>3. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later</p><p>4. Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.</p><p>5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?</p><p>6. I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.</p><p>7. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.</p><p>8. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.</p><p>9. Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?</p><p>10. I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.</p><p>11. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.</p><p>12. I hate everybody, and you're next.</p><p>13. Please don't make me kill you.</p><p>14. And your point is...</p><p>15. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.</p><p>16. All stressed out and no one to choke.</p><p>17. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.</p><p>18. How can I miss you if you won't go away?</p><p>19. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.</p><p></p><p>20. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.</p><p></p><p>21. You KNOW you want me.</p><p></p><p>22. Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.</p><p></p><p>23. You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?</p><p></p><p>24. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.</p><p></p><p>25. Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.</p><p></p><p>26. I'm out of oestrogens and I have a gun.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">99999</span></strong></p><p></p><p>"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate</p><p>men everywhere? "'Hold my purse.'"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">99999</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A plane was about to crash, so the stewardess stood up and said,</p><p>Is there any man, man enough to make me feel like a woman!"</p><p>A guy stood up and took off his shirt and said,</p><p>Here, iron this!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">99999</span></strong></p><p></p><p>What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?</p><p>Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all</p><p>you're left with is a greasy box.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063765611, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Huge Bullfrog[/COLOR][/B] A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. A clerk came up and asked if there's something he could help her with. "I wanted to buy my boyfriend a pet, but all of yours are so expensive!" She says. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?" "$50.00?? For a Frog??" said the woman. The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It's gives BJs." So, the woman decides to buy the frog. She takes it home to her boyfriend, explains the frog and they're both happy. The woman goes to bed. Around two in the morning she is awakened by pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. She gets up to go see what's going on and when she gets to the kitchen she sees her boyfriend and the frog sitting at the kitchen table looking through cookbooks. "What are you two doing looking through cookbooks at this hour?" says the woman. The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to cook, your butt is out of here!!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]---------[/COLOR][/B] An out-of-towner becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress in his hotel coffee shop, and invites her up to his room. She is indignant. The guy says, "Don't get excited. This is all in the Bible." Thelma is appeased, and after her shift they go out and have a few drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and again she is angry. The man explains, "It's in the Bible." An hour later they're in the guy's hotel room and he suggests they undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn't sinful since it's in the Bible. "Where?" she says. "Where does it say that?" Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to the front cover where someone has written, "Thelma the waitress is a great lay." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Female Slogans[/COLOR][/B] 1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day. 2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it. 3. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later 4. Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time. 5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths? 6. I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time. 7. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win. 8. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP. 9. Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares? 10. I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them. 11. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. 12. I hate everybody, and you're next. 13. Please don't make me kill you. 14. And your point is... 15. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now. 16. All stressed out and no one to choke. 17. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. 18. How can I miss you if you won't go away? 19. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not. 20. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. 21. You KNOW you want me. 22. Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time. 23. You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions? 24. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy. 25. Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear. 26. I'm out of oestrogens and I have a gun. [B][COLOR="Red"]99999[/COLOR][/B] "What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "'Hold my purse.'" [B][COLOR="Red"]99999[/COLOR][/B] A plane was about to crash, so the stewardess stood up and said, Is there any man, man enough to make me feel like a woman!" A guy stood up and took off his shirt and said, Here, iron this!" [B][COLOR="Red"]99999[/COLOR][/B] What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're left with is a greasy box. [/QUOTE]
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