Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063768834" data-attributes="member: 14320">FACTS FROM A MALE VIEWPOINTHow are fat girls and mopeds alike?They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?Nothing, she's been told twice already.Why does a bride always wear white?Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and the fridge.Whats the difference between premenstrual tension and BSE?One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.Why did God create women?To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?The swallow.How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?Phone her.Why do women fake orgasms?Because they think men care.What is the definition of 'making love'?Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?Slow down and use a lubricant.What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?Made her chain too long.How do you turn a fox into an elephant?Marry it.What is the difference between a battery and a woman?A battery has a positive side.What are the three fastest means of communication?Internet, telephone, telawoman.Why do hunters make the best lovers?Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.How is a woman like a condom?Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.What should you give a woman who has everything?A man to show her how to work it.How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?She knows she's given her last blow job.What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.What's the difference between your wife and your job?After 10 years, the job still sucks.What's the definition of love, true love, and showing off?Spitting, swallowing and gargling.Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?When you take it off you wonder where her tits went. Dictionary Of Obscure Sexual Terms HummerThe well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.The Hunter GathererYou and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.The Indian Cock BurnWhile a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.The Jedi Mind TrickWhen banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".The Jelly DonutGive some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.The Juanita Special Bean DipWhile your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.Kennebunkport SurpriseThe act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.Kick-FuckingThe act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.The LandsharkThe woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.The Lorena BobbitObviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)The MentholThe act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.The Mellon DiveHeadbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.Monkey WrenchWhen some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

original rare Rays Volk Racing TE37SL Black Edition...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda city JSracing gtwing spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fd ~car spray(Ferrari red)
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda jazz fit gk flrs body kit
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 ~M5 front skirt lip with glossy black
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Kia Forte gtwing spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3 front skirt lip
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Proton Saga VVT Evo Front Bonnet Hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Perodua bezza gear up body kit/spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 ~M5 front bumper set ~M5 kidney grille...
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Watch The Thrills and Spills of S1T's 10 Years in The WRC

https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/wrc-600x337.jpg

It is the grueling challenge in testing the bond between man and machine, going against everything that Mother Nature had in her arsenal. Let...

car batterey

i just changed my car batt into the maintainance-free type 13 plates 70
before this i was using the normal car battery 13 plates 70
i noticed that the rpm drops more when i on my air cond after i changed my batt...

boost controller problems

hi all, have a stock gsr with modified exhaust and open pod filter

using avcr to control boost at 0.8bar... and it can't do that :(

duty is already set at the lowest (20%), but at 4th gear 5.5krpm boost rises to...