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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063774830" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">JoHN 's Wife</span></strong></p><p></p><p>About six months ago, John's wife died an untimely death. He loved his</p><p>wife and had been married to her for almost 23 years. One day, John was</p><p>feeling his oats as well as a little sorry for himself. "It's been so long</p><p>since I got any," lamented John. "I'm a pretty healthy guy and I'm use to</p><p>getting a lot of sex," he said. "But now that my wife is dead, I haven't had sex</p><p>in over six months!" So, he got a crazy idea. "I will just dig up the</p><p>wife and see what's going on," he thought to himself. So, he did. When he got</p><p>her out of the ground, he saw that she was only a little flaky around the</p><p>edges, so he decided to do her like a jackrabbit. Well, pretty soon, he noticed</p><p>that she was just lying there like a fish and was all cold and clammy. John remarked: "Wow, she hasn't changed a bit!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some</p><p>weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. His</p><p>grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" "Can you touch your</p><p>asshole with your penis?" he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then</p><p>you're not big enough." A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our</p><p>of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have</p><p>some of your beer?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says.</p><p>"No,"</p><p>says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough." Time passes and</p><p>they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into his</p><p>lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at</p><p>him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?" "Can</p><p>you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. "I most</p><p>certainly can!" says the grandfather. "Then go fuck yourself," says the boy,</p><p>"These are my cookies!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">@@@@@</span></strong></p><p></p><p>For a lark this strip joint has a contest, for the smelliest cunt</p><p>contest.</p><p>So this Fat disgusting chick shows up with her husband. She's so fat</p><p>and lazy she has to be assisted by her husband to the cunt stand. She</p><p>blows the doors out of this place because her cunt is so smelly. She wins hands</p><p>down.</p><p>Her brave husband had stuck with her and accepted the check for</p><p>winning the contest. The management couldn't help but ask, how do you stand the</p><p>smell.</p><p>He says, "well when she first died two weeks ago, it was pretty bad,</p><p>but you get used to it."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">World's Biggest Pussy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A guy goes to see this hooker who is said to have the world's biggest</p><p>pussy. He starts fucking her but she's WAY too big and he's getting</p><p>no satisfaction, so he slides his whole body inside her and tries</p><p>to get off, but he falls in. He's groping around in the dark and he</p><p>lights his lighter and starts walking around. After a while he</p><p>drops the lighter by accident and starts crawling around looking for</p><p>it. He bumps into another guy. "Hey" he says, "You're lost in</p><p>here too, eh? Listen, if we can find my lighter, we can walk out</p><p>of here." "Hell," says the other guy, "If we find my car we can</p><p>*drive* out of here!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=========</span></strong></p><p>Q. What's the difference between revenge and sweet revenge?</p><p>A. Rooting your enemy's wife and finding out she's a lousy lay.</p><p>Q. Why is it good to have a wife?</p><p>A. Because sooner or later something will go wrong that you</p><p>can't blame on the government.</p><p>Q. What's black and white and tells the pope to get stuffed?</p><p>A. A nun with six winning lotto numbers.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=======</span></strong></p><p>A chick turns up to this fancy dress party completely naked and knocks on</p><p>the door. The guy who answers the door says, "You can't come in here,</p><p>you're not in fancy dress." She says, "Yes I am, I've come as a</p><p>carpenter." So he lets her in and says, "Hey guys, this chick reckons</p><p>she's dressed as a carpenter!"</p><p>"Prove it!", they all say.</p><p>So she puts one leg up on the table and says, "Have you ever seen a box</p><p>full of sores like this one?"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063774830, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]JoHN 's Wife[/COLOR][/B] About six months ago, John's wife died an untimely death. He loved his wife and had been married to her for almost 23 years. One day, John was feeling his oats as well as a little sorry for himself. "It's been so long since I got any," lamented John. "I'm a pretty healthy guy and I'm use to getting a lot of sex," he said. "But now that my wife is dead, I haven't had sex in over six months!" So, he got a crazy idea. "I will just dig up the wife and see what's going on," he thought to himself. So, he did. When he got her out of the ground, he saw that she was only a little flaky around the edges, so he decided to do her like a jackrabbit. Well, pretty soon, he noticed that she was just lying there like a fish and was all cold and clammy. John remarked: "Wow, she hasn't changed a bit!" [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@@@[/COLOR][/B] A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. His grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not big enough." A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough." Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. "I most certainly can!" says the grandfather. "Then go fuck yourself," says the boy, "These are my cookies!" [B][COLOR="Red"]@@@@@[/COLOR][/B] For a lark this strip joint has a contest, for the smelliest cunt contest. So this Fat disgusting chick shows up with her husband. She's so fat and lazy she has to be assisted by her husband to the cunt stand. She blows the doors out of this place because her cunt is so smelly. She wins hands down. Her brave husband had stuck with her and accepted the check for winning the contest. The management couldn't help but ask, how do you stand the smell. He says, "well when she first died two weeks ago, it was pretty bad, but you get used to it." [B][COLOR="Teal"]World's Biggest Pussy[/COLOR][/B] A guy goes to see this hooker who is said to have the world's biggest pussy. He starts fucking her but she's WAY too big and he's getting no satisfaction, so he slides his whole body inside her and tries to get off, but he falls in. He's groping around in the dark and he lights his lighter and starts walking around. After a while he drops the lighter by accident and starts crawling around looking for it. He bumps into another guy. "Hey" he says, "You're lost in here too, eh? Listen, if we can find my lighter, we can walk out of here." "Hell," says the other guy, "If we find my car we can *drive* out of here!" [B][COLOR="Red"]=========[/COLOR][/B] Q. What's the difference between revenge and sweet revenge? A. Rooting your enemy's wife and finding out she's a lousy lay. Q. Why is it good to have a wife? A. Because sooner or later something will go wrong that you can't blame on the government. Q. What's black and white and tells the pope to get stuffed? A. A nun with six winning lotto numbers. [B][COLOR="Red"]=======[/COLOR][/B] A chick turns up to this fancy dress party completely naked and knocks on the door. The guy who answers the door says, "You can't come in here, you're not in fancy dress." She says, "Yes I am, I've come as a carpenter." So he lets her in and says, "Hey guys, this chick reckons she's dressed as a carpenter!" "Prove it!", they all say. So she puts one leg up on the table and says, "Have you ever seen a box full of sores like this one?" [/QUOTE]
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