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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063786868" data-attributes="member: 14320">Snow White And The Seven DwarfsOne day the seven dwarfs were coming home after a hard days work. Asthey approach the house, they hear some sounds coming from the garden.Their curiousity aroused, they stand on each others shoulders untilfinally one of them can see over the garden wall. The dwarf at the top,sees snowwhite and the prince sitting and talking in the garden. He saysto the dwarf who`s shoulder he is standing on, "Snow White is with thePrince"This in turn gets passed down, dwarf to dwarf, "Snow White is with thePrince""Snow White is with the Prince""Snow White is with the Prince""Snow White is....." (and so on) until it has reached all thedwarfs.Then the dwarf at the top says:"They`re Kissing"Again the chain starts:"They`re Kissing""They`re Kissing""They`re Kissing""They`re .......""He`s taking off her clothes""He`s taking off her clothes""He`s taking off her clothes""He`s taking off............""They`re both nude now""They`re both nude now""They`re both nude now""They`re both.........""He`s about to enter her""He`s about to enter her""He`s about to enter her""He`s about to.........."At this point Snow White hears a sound near the wall, and so she gets upto investigate.The dwarf at the top sees this and says: "She`s Coming""So am I""So am I""So am I""So am I""So am I""So am I"@@@Once upon a time, there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do push ups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lazed around doing nothing. One day, one of the sperm questioned Stanley and asked why he exercised all day.Stanley explained, "Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant, and when the right time comes, I'm gonna be that one sperm!"A few days later, all the sperm could feel themselves getting hotter and hotter. They knew the big swim was imminent. Moments later, they were released abruptly and, sure enough, Stanley was swimming far ahead of all the others.Suddenly, Stanley stopped in his tracks, turned around, and began to swim back with all his might. "Go back! Go back!" he hollered, "It's a blow job!" On A Country FarmOn a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their threesons.Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of thewindow onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lyingdead in the field.The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could shepossibly continue to feed her family now?In a depressed state of mind,she hung herself.When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well asthe cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and heshot himself in the head.Now the oldest son woke up to discover hisparents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river anddrown himself.When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sittingon the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for yourdespair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I willrestore your parents and the cow to you."The son agreed to try, butafter four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So themermaid drowned him in the river.Next the second oldest son woke up.After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himselfinto the river.The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with meten times in a row, I will make everything right."And while the sontried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid,so she drowned him in the river.The youngest son woke up and saw hisparents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. Hedecided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the riverto throw himself in.And there he also met the mermaid."I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right ifyou will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."The young sonreplied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"The mermaid wassomewhat taken aback by this request.Then he said, "Hell, why nottwenty-five times in a row?"And even as she was reluctantly agreeing tohis request,he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"Finally, shesaid, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in arow, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."Then the youngson asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't killyou like it did the cow?"=====That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlordbecause he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told aneighbor."You didn't do it, did you?""I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add.What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up forsix months!"=====It had taken him several months, but the exec had finally persuaded hisnew secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow himto have sex with her that way."And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, whenthe wayward husband finally arrived home. "Down at the office," hereplied, "working like a dog."</blockquote>

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