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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063807064" data-attributes="member: 14320">The Hills Of InvernessOne misty Scottish morn a man was driving through the hills toInverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlandersteps into the middle of the road. The man is about six footseven and built like a tank. He has a huge red beard and despitethe gale force wind and freezing temperatures, is wearing onlyhis kilt and his tweed shirt.At the roadside there also stands a young women. She isabsolutely beautiful, slim, shapely, fair complexion ... heartstopping. The car driver's attention is dragged from the girlwhen the highlander opens his car door and drags him from theseat onto the road."Right, you" he shouts, "I want you to masturbate""but ... " stammers the driver"Now ... or I'll bloody kill you"So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers andstarts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, thisonly takes a few seconds."Right" shouts the highlander "Do it again!""but ... " says the driver."Now!! ... " he bellows.So the driver does it again."Right, do it again" demands the highlander.This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in botharms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind,has collapsed in a sweating jibbering heap on the ground, unableto walk."Do it again" says the highlander."I just can't do it any more - you'll just have to kill me,"whimpers the man.The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on theroadside."All right," he says, "can you give my daughter a lift toInverness?"*************Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such ayen for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effectivecountermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suckstrongly." "That's all very well for you," huffed her friend. "ButI don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"</blockquote>

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