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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063870286" data-attributes="member: 14320">5 Levels Of A HangoverOne Star Hangover (*)No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relativelywell. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and stillfeel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.Two Star Hangover (**)No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but youhave the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging isonly increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around thefruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is somedefinite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.Three Star Hangover (***)Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely notproductive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume remindsyou of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you todrink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bedwatching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.Four Star Hangover (****)Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or elseyou might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late andhas given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, butthat can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. Forthe ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding thebumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hairhurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about fiveshits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone whoenters the bathroom.Five Star Hangover (*****)You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actuallyannoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seepingout of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crustin the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt toget the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the abilityto generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have thefoggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed thismorning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like dischargeof alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The solepurpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water allover your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.... Real Or not?(Very long, but very interesting)*A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.*A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.*A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.*A snail can sleep for three years.*All Polar bears are left-handed.*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.*Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.*An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.*Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.*Butterflies taste with their feet.*Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.*Cat's urine glows under a black light.*China has more English speakers than the United States.*Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.*Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.*Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.*February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.*I am. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language*If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.*If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.*If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.*If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.*In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.*In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.*Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.*Marilyn Monroe had six toes.*Michael Jordan made more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.*More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.*No word in the English language rhymes with month.*Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.*On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.*Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.*Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.*Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.*Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."*Some lions mate over 50 times a day.*Starfish haven't got brains.*Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.*The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.*The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.*The most common name in the world is Mohammed.*The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.*The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."*The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.*The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.*The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.*The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.*There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.*TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.*Women blink nearly twice as much as men.*You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.*You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.*You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.****** DICTIONARYATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person.LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.****** - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, ****** repulsive men or spending time around children.EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin until married.EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more to her life with him than just intercourseDID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT:Lost her boyfriend because she forgot where she laid him.Thought that asphalt was rectum trouble.Was called tapioca because she could be made in a minute.</blockquote>

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