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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063878361" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">An Amish Boy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young Amish boy, Little Johnny, is sitting on his bed reading</p><p>The Bible. Suddenly, his father storms in, grabs him and drags</p><p>him out into the pasture. In the pasture is one sheep chewing</p><p>grass. His father points to the sheep and says, "Thou hast had</p><p>sex with yon sheep!"</p><p></p><p>Little Johnny kneels and says, "Father forgive me for I did</p><p>indeed spill my seed in yon lowly beast."</p><p></p><p>Saddened his father says, "Thou art forgiven my son. But know</p><p>this... there will be REAL trouble if I taste it again!!!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">TTTTT</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Two kids playing in a lane found a donkey who had died with a</p><p>hard on.</p><p></p><p>Being the mischievous kind of boys, they cut off the donkey's</p><p>dick and began brandishing it in the air.</p><p></p><p>Just then, a police officer on his bicycle came up the lane, and</p><p>the boys not wanting to be caught with it, tossed it over the</p><p>wall of the Nunnery.</p><p></p><p>Sister Agnes and Sister Mary taking their afternoon stroll found</p><p>the dick in the bushes. "Oh sweet Jesus," says Sister Agnes.</p><p></p><p>"What's wrong?" asks Sister Mary. "You've gone as white as a</p><p>sheet."</p><p></p><p>"It's those dirty protestant bastards," Sister Agnes replies.</p><p>"They have murdered Father O'Toole!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">TTTTT</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Bear and Rabbit are side by side, shitting in the woods. Bear</p><p>looks at Rabbit and asks, "Do you have trouble with shit</p><p>sticking to your fur?"</p><p></p><p>Rabbit says, "No, not at all."</p><p></p><p>So the Bear picks up the Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Nasty Dirty Chit!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Q. What do you call a female copper who shaves her pubic hair?</p><p>A. Cuntstubble</p><p></p><p>Q. What do Prince Charles and a tampon have in common?</p><p>A. They are both stuck up cunts.</p><p></p><p></p><p>A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving. She tells the man,</p><p>"Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be held</p><p>against you."</p><p>The drunk replies, "Tits."</p><p></p><p>Limerick humor:</p><p></p><p>Mary had a little shock</p><p>For men who wanted fanny</p><p>She made them grope her throbbing cock</p><p>coz Mary was a trannie</p><p></p><p>The cunt is a hole that never heals.</p><p>The more you rub it the better it feels</p><p>and all the soap from here to hell</p><p>can never get rid of that fuckin smell</p><p></p><p>There was a young man from Maricious</p><p>who said 'wow that shag was delicious</p><p>but the next time I cum</p><p>It’ll be up your bum</p><p>Coz that scab on ya cunt looks suspicious!!</p><p></p><p>A hooker of note called Miss Flux</p><p>would charge at least 200 bucks</p><p>but for that she would suck you</p><p>and jerk off and fuck you</p><p>the whole thing was simply Deluxe</p><p></p><p>Sing a song of syphilis, a fanny full of crabs</p><p>Four and twenty blackheads, twice as many scabs</p><p>When the heads popped open, The crabs began to sing</p><p>Wasn't that a filthy cunt to put your penis in!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>A woman is standing naked in the bathroom in front of the mirror,</p><p>touching and fondling her breasts. Her husband walks in and asks, "What</p><p>the hell are you doing?"</p><p></p><p>His wife replies, "I've just been to the doctor and he told me that I</p><p>had the breasts of a 20 year old."</p><p></p><p>"Humph," grunted her husband, "What did he say about your fifty year old</p><p>cunt?"</p><p></p><p>"To tell you the truth, dear, he didn’t even ask about you."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Care Package</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.</p><p></p><p>Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's ding dong. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her pie hole and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."</p><p></p><p>I love to suck a great big tit</p><p>inch by inch, bit by bit,</p><p>I love to see her big breasts bare</p><p>they make my cum fly through the air.</p><p></p><p>Oh goodness gracious what big boobs!</p><p>They make my cum spurt out in goobs!</p><p>Their great to lick and squeeze and suck</p><p>not to mention titty fuck!</p><p></p><p>They say that having such big boobs</p><p>are really just a waste</p><p>but it takes more than just a mouthful</p><p>to get the greatest taste!</p><p></p><p></p><p>A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day.</p><p>His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face.</p><p></p><p>She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"</p><p></p><p>"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"</p><p></p><p>The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."</p><p></p><p>Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."</p><p></p><p>"That's right, Dad."</p><p></p><p>"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."</p><p></p><p>"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">How Dogs Are Better Than Men:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.</p><p>2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.</p><p>3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.</p><p>4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.</p><p>5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.</p><p>6. Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they</p><p>never laugh at how you throw).</p><p>7. You can train a dog.</p><p>8. Dogs are easy to buy for.</p><p>9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.</p><p>10. Dogs understand what "no" means.</p><p>11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Great Aussie Love Poem</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Of Course I Love Ya Darling You're A Bloody Top Notch Bird</p><p>And When I Say You're Gorgeous I Mean Every Single Word</p><p></p><p>So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab</p><p>It Means That When I'm Ready There's Somethin' There To Grab</p><p></p><p>So Your Belly Isn't Flat No More I Tell Ya, I Don't Care</p><p>So Long As When I Cuddle Ya I Can Get My Arms Round There</p><p></p><p>No Sheila Who Is Your Age Has Nice Round Perky Breasts</p><p>They Just Gave Into Gravity But I Know Ya Did Ya Best</p><p></p><p>I'm Tellin Ya The Truth Now I Never Tell Ya Lies</p><p>I Think It's Very Sexy That You've Got Dimples On Ya Thighs</p><p></p><p>I Swear Upon Me Nannas Grave The Moment That We Met</p><p>I Thought U Was As Good As I Was Ever Gonna Get</p><p></p><p>No Matter Wot U Look Like I'll Always Love Ya Dear</p><p>Now Shut Up While The Footys On And Get Me Bloody Beer!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063878361, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]An Amish Boy[/COLOR][/B] A young Amish boy, Little Johnny, is sitting on his bed reading The Bible. Suddenly, his father storms in, grabs him and drags him out into the pasture. In the pasture is one sheep chewing grass. His father points to the sheep and says, "Thou hast had sex with yon sheep!" Little Johnny kneels and says, "Father forgive me for I did indeed spill my seed in yon lowly beast." Saddened his father says, "Thou art forgiven my son. But know this... there will be REAL trouble if I taste it again!!!" [B][COLOR="Red"]TTTTT[/COLOR][/B] Two kids playing in a lane found a donkey who had died with a hard on. Being the mischievous kind of boys, they cut off the donkey's dick and began brandishing it in the air. Just then, a police officer on his bicycle came up the lane, and the boys not wanting to be caught with it, tossed it over the wall of the Nunnery. Sister Agnes and Sister Mary taking their afternoon stroll found the dick in the bushes. "Oh sweet Jesus," says Sister Agnes. "What's wrong?" asks Sister Mary. "You've gone as white as a sheet." "It's those dirty protestant bastards," Sister Agnes replies. "They have murdered Father O'Toole!" [B][COLOR="Red"]TTTTT[/COLOR][/B] Bear and Rabbit are side by side, shitting in the woods. Bear looks at Rabbit and asks, "Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" Rabbit says, "No, not at all." So the Bear picks up the Rabbit and wipes his ass with him. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Nasty Dirty Chit![/COLOR][/B] Q. What do you call a female copper who shaves her pubic hair? A. Cuntstubble Q. What do Prince Charles and a tampon have in common? A. They are both stuck up cunts. A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be held against you." The drunk replies, "Tits." Limerick humor: Mary had a little shock For men who wanted fanny She made them grope her throbbing cock coz Mary was a trannie The cunt is a hole that never heals. The more you rub it the better it feels and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell There was a young man from Maricious who said 'wow that shag was delicious but the next time I cum It’ll be up your bum Coz that scab on ya cunt looks suspicious!! A hooker of note called Miss Flux would charge at least 200 bucks but for that she would suck you and jerk off and fuck you the whole thing was simply Deluxe Sing a song of syphilis, a fanny full of crabs Four and twenty blackheads, twice as many scabs When the heads popped open, The crabs began to sing Wasn't that a filthy cunt to put your penis in!! A woman is standing naked in the bathroom in front of the mirror, touching and fondling her breasts. Her husband walks in and asks, "What the hell are you doing?" His wife replies, "I've just been to the doctor and he told me that I had the breasts of a 20 year old." "Humph," grunted her husband, "What did he say about your fifty year old cunt?" "To tell you the truth, dear, he didn’t even ask about you." [B][COLOR="Teal"]Care Package[/COLOR][/B] A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's ding dong. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her pie hole and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce." I love to suck a great big tit inch by inch, bit by bit, I love to see her big breasts bare they make my cum fly through the air. Oh goodness gracious what big boobs! They make my cum spurt out in goobs! Their great to lick and squeeze and suck not to mention titty fuck! They say that having such big boobs are really just a waste but it takes more than just a mouthful to get the greatest taste! A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?" "Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!" The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home." Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher." "That's right, Dad." "Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for." "That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me." [B][COLOR="Teal"]How Dogs Are Better Than Men:[/COLOR][/B] 1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. 2. Dogs miss you when you're gone. 3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong. 4. Dogs admit when they're jealous. 5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. 6. Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw). 7. You can train a dog. 8. Dogs are easy to buy for. 9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. 10. Dogs understand what "no" means. 11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Great Aussie Love Poem[/COLOR][/B] Of Course I Love Ya Darling You're A Bloody Top Notch Bird And When I Say You're Gorgeous I Mean Every Single Word So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab It Means That When I'm Ready There's Somethin' There To Grab So Your Belly Isn't Flat No More I Tell Ya, I Don't Care So Long As When I Cuddle Ya I Can Get My Arms Round There No Sheila Who Is Your Age Has Nice Round Perky Breasts They Just Gave Into Gravity But I Know Ya Did Ya Best I'm Tellin Ya The Truth Now I Never Tell Ya Lies I Think It's Very Sexy That You've Got Dimples On Ya Thighs I Swear Upon Me Nannas Grave The Moment That We Met I Thought U Was As Good As I Was Ever Gonna Get No Matter Wot U Look Like I'll Always Love Ya Dear Now Shut Up While The Footys On And Get Me Bloody Beer! [/QUOTE]
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