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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063917667" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p>A man applied for a job with the council, but failed the medical because he didn't have any balls. Finally he managed to convince the doctor and the boss that it wouldn't make any difference to the way he worked.</p><p>"OK," said the boss, "you can take the job, but just one thing, you have to start at 8am every morning."</p><p>"Why," asked the man, "every one else starts at 7:30 am."</p><p>"Yeah," replied the boss, "but they stand around for half an hour scratching their balls!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">===</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Tired of being rejected, the husband walked into the bedroom after the</p><p>wife went to bed. As he handed her two pills and told her,</p><p>"Here, take these."</p><p>She asked, "What are these?" He told her, "They're aspirins."</p><p>"But," she said with a quizzical look, "I don't have a headache."</p><p>To which he replies, "Good, lets fuck."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">===</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Blonde Quickies!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence?</p><p>So she could see what was on the other side.</p><p></p><p>What does a blonde say when she finds out she is pregnant?</p><p>"Boy, I hope it's mine!"</p><p></p><p>How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?</p><p>She fell out of the tree.</p><p>Why are blondes naturally good at blow jobs?</p><p>Because the anagram of BLONDE is BEND LO and BLO END!</p><p></p><p>What do you call a blonde giving you a wank?</p><p>A golden hand shaker!</p><p>How many blondes does it take to turn a computer on?</p><p>Just one. She masturbates in front of it!</p><p></p><p>Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?</p><p>Because she had just blow dried her hair!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">===</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A Pollack was suffering from constipation, so his doctor</p><p>prescribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the</p><p>doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been</p><p>taking them regularly?" the doctor asked. "What do you think I've</p><p>been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Mommy And Daddy</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.</p><p></p><p>Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."</p><p></p><p>Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."</p><p></p><p>Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"</p><p></p><p>Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."</p><p></p><p>The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.</p><p></p><p>Mom : "Now what do I do?"</p><p></p><p>Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."</p><p>A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"</p><p>So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"</p><p></p><p>Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."</p><p>One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."</p><p>One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"</p><p>Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063917667, member: 14320"] A man applied for a job with the council, but failed the medical because he didn't have any balls. Finally he managed to convince the doctor and the boss that it wouldn't make any difference to the way he worked. "OK," said the boss, "you can take the job, but just one thing, you have to start at 8am every morning." "Why," asked the man, "every one else starts at 7:30 am." "Yeah," replied the boss, "but they stand around for half an hour scratching their balls!" [B][COLOR="Red"]===[/COLOR][/B] Tired of being rejected, the husband walked into the bedroom after the wife went to bed. As he handed her two pills and told her, "Here, take these." She asked, "What are these?" He told her, "They're aspirins." "But," she said with a quizzical look, "I don't have a headache." To which he replies, "Good, lets fuck." [B][COLOR="Red"]===[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Blonde Quickies![/COLOR][/B] Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence? So she could see what was on the other side. What does a blonde say when she finds out she is pregnant? "Boy, I hope it's mine!" How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. Why are blondes naturally good at blow jobs? Because the anagram of BLONDE is BEND LO and BLO END! What do you call a blonde giving you a wank? A golden hand shaker! How many blondes does it take to turn a computer on? Just one. She masturbates in front of it! Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? Because she had just blow dried her hair! [B][COLOR="Red"]===[/COLOR][/B] A Pollack was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked. "What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?" [B][COLOR="Teal"]Mommy And Daddy[/COLOR][/B] A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad. Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play." Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with." Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?" Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed." The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door. Mom : "Now what do I do?" Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream." A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!" So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!" Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts." One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking." One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!" Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad." [/QUOTE]
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