Reply to thread

See what others are reading now! Try Forums > Current Activity

Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063918253" data-attributes="member: 14320">My Penis Is OrangeA guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me.My penis is orange."The doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so hecan check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy,"This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lotof stress in a person's life."Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy,"How are things going at work?"The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctortells him that this must be the cause of the stress. The guyresponds,"No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hoursof overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening.I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours,I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is areally great guy."So the doc figures this isn't the reason. He asks the guy, "How'syour home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eightmonths ago."The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guysstress.But the guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag,nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch!"So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer. He inquires,"Do you have any hobbies or a social life?"The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I just sit at home,watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos!!!"The Nine Important Men In A Woman's Life....1. THE DOCTOR: because he says, "Take your clothes off."2. THE DENTIST: because he says, "Open wide."3. THE HAIRDRESSER: because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown?".4. THE MILKMAN: because he says, "Do you want it in the front orthe back?"5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR: because he says, "Once it's in, you'lllove it!"6. THE STOCK BROKER: because he says, "It will rise right up,fluctuate for a while, and then slowly fall back again."7. THE BANKER: because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest.8. THE HUNTER: (our favorite) because he goes deep in the bush,shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots.9. THE TELEPHONE GUY: because he says,"Would you like it on the table or up against the wall?Nursing Home ResidentsTwo women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing Home Residents. They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her husband had come to the nursing home.The other woman said that her sex life was great!"The secret to great sex is this," the woman told her, "when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night!"Ethel says, "I'm going to try that tonight!" When Ethel's husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes. Although it's a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she has the other leg behind her head as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can't move.It's not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, her husband yells "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an ass!"________Knock, KnockWho's there?Little boy blewLittle boy blew who?Michael JacksonKnock Knock. Who's there?Boo. Boo who?Well geez, I didn't mean to make you cry.Knock, Knock whos there?Atch; Atchwho? Bless youKnock; knock Who's there?Yule, Yule who?Yule never knowKnock; knock Who's there?Cargo Cargo who?Cargo honk, honkKnock, knock.-Who’s there?-Uask!-Uask who?-U ask to many questions!!Knock knock jokeKnock KnockWho's there?Enid!Enid who?Enid some more pocket money!</blockquote>

Verification

The Marketplace Latest

original rare Yokohama ADVAN Racing TC4 18x8.5...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing ZE40 17x9jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing INGS TS06 18x8jj...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
- Started by david tao
- Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
- Started by david tao
- Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
- Started by jeff6126
- Exterior and Body

Posts refresh every 5 minutes

Vath Tuned CL65 AMG: 718hp, 340km/h, We Recommend It

If you’re one of those people who has too much money and don’t know what to do with it, you will have nothing to loose if you...

Help Needed ... Sound System Instalation

Dear all, anyone can share knowledge on how to pasang sound system. I got:

1. CD player
2. Component speakers
3. Pre-amp
4. 2 channel Power Amp
5. Coaxial speakers..

what should I do...:embaressed_smile: Thankss

Meter Light

saw the iswara SE meter panel light blue in color...so nice but the are so bright.sakit mata oo driving for long time. B) B)
anyone know how to change the meter panel light for wira aeroback??