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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063936839" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Signs You Might Be Gay</span></strong></p><p></p><p>You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls.</p><p></p><p>You blow every paycheck on gerbils.</p><p></p><p>You get offended and/or turned on by the word "Fruit Loops."</p><p></p><p>Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap.</p><p></p><p>Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors.</p><p></p><p>Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons. You'd rather paddle his cute</p><p>little ass.</p><p></p><p>You're best friends with the girl you took to your high school prom.</p><p></p><p>You think Pamela Anderson dresses nice.</p><p></p><p>You dress like Liberace on casual Fridays.</p><p></p><p>Your idea of "getting lucky" on the weekend is finding Ralph Lauren</p><p>sheets on sale.</p><p></p><p>You start to cry when your boss says you can't have the day off for your</p><p>birthday.</p><p></p><p>You don't know the score of the game last night, but you do remember</p><p>that the players had some of the roundest asses you've ever seen.</p><p></p><p>When someone asks you if you're a pitcher or a catcher, your first</p><p>thought isn't about baseball.</p><p></p><p>When you see a handsome police officer following you on the highway, you</p><p>speed up instead of slowing down.</p><p></p><p>You've wondered if Batman and Robin share a bedroom.</p><p></p><p>You noticed that Ricky Martin shaved his chest for his last video.</p><p></p><p>You're the one everyone turns to when they need someone to plan a</p><p>surprise party.</p><p></p><p>You can recite the next line of the following song: "The minute you</p><p>walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction."</p><p></p><p>When viewing straight porn videos you watch the women give head and</p><p>think, "they're not doing that right."</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Last 10 Things Any Woman Would Ever Say</span></strong></p><p></p><p>10. Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being</p><p>friends.</p><p>9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that</p><p>way.</p><p>8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.</p><p>7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.</p><p>6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit</p><p>are just too cute.</p><p>5. This diamond is way too big.</p><p>4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.</p><p>3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!</p><p>2. Does this make my butt look too small?</p><p>1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Thor The Viking God Of Thunder</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla,</p><p>when suddenly Thor said to Odin, "It's been a long time now. I really</p><p>need to have sex."</p><p></p><p>Odin stood and pondered for a while, before replying, "Go to Earth, O</p><p>Thor, and find thyself what they call a 'lady of joy' and treat her to</p><p>your manly pleasures."</p><p></p><p>And this Thor did. The next day, he came back up to see Odin, and told</p><p>him of the previous night's events. "My friend," he said, grinning from</p><p>ear to ear, "It was wonderful. We had passionate sex 37 times.."</p><p></p><p>"37 times!" exclaimed Odin. "That poor woman! Mere mortals cannot endure</p><p>such treatment. You must go and apologize this instant!"</p><p></p><p>So Thor went back down to earth and found the aforementioned prostitute,</p><p>saying. "I'm sorry about last night, but you see, I'm Thor..."</p><p></p><p>"You're Thor?" shouted the girl. "You're Thor? What about me? I'm tho</p><p>thor I can hardly pith!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">_________________________________________________</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and,</p><p>after staring for some time at the only woman seated</p><p>at the bar, he walked over to her, placed his hand</p><p>up her skirt and began fondling her.</p><p></p><p>She jumped up and slapped him silly.</p><p></p><p>He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry.</p><p>I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."</p><p></p><p>"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.</p><p></p><p>"That's funny," he muttered, "You even sound exactly like her."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063936839, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Signs You Might Be Gay[/COLOR][/B] You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls. You blow every paycheck on gerbils. You get offended and/or turned on by the word "Fruit Loops." Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap. Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors. Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons. You'd rather paddle his cute little ass. You're best friends with the girl you took to your high school prom. You think Pamela Anderson dresses nice. You dress like Liberace on casual Fridays. Your idea of "getting lucky" on the weekend is finding Ralph Lauren sheets on sale. You start to cry when your boss says you can't have the day off for your birthday. You don't know the score of the game last night, but you do remember that the players had some of the roundest asses you've ever seen. When someone asks you if you're a pitcher or a catcher, your first thought isn't about baseball. When you see a handsome police officer following you on the highway, you speed up instead of slowing down. You've wondered if Batman and Robin share a bedroom. You noticed that Ricky Martin shaved his chest for his last video. You're the one everyone turns to when they need someone to plan a surprise party. You can recite the next line of the following song: "The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction." When viewing straight porn videos you watch the women give head and think, "they're not doing that right." [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Last 10 Things Any Woman Would Ever Say[/COLOR][/B] 10. Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends. 9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way. 8. I think hairy butts are really sexy. 7. Hey, get a whiff of that one. 6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute. 5. This diamond is way too big. 4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow. 3. Wow, it really is 14 inches! 2. Does this make my butt look too small? 1. I'm wrong, you must be right again. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Thor The Viking God Of Thunder[/COLOR][/B] Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin, "It's been a long time now. I really need to have sex." Odin stood and pondered for a while, before replying, "Go to Earth, O Thor, and find thyself what they call a 'lady of joy' and treat her to your manly pleasures." And this Thor did. The next day, he came back up to see Odin, and told him of the previous night's events. "My friend," he said, grinning from ear to ear, "It was wonderful. We had passionate sex 37 times.." "37 times!" exclaimed Odin. "That poor woman! Mere mortals cannot endure such treatment. You must go and apologize this instant!" So Thor went back down to earth and found the aforementioned prostitute, saying. "I'm sorry about last night, but you see, I'm Thor..." "You're Thor?" shouted the girl. "You're Thor? What about me? I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!" [B][COLOR="Red"]_________________________________________________[/COLOR][/B] A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed. "That's funny," he muttered, "You even sound exactly like her." [/QUOTE]
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