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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063941668" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Writing Home the Easy Way</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Date: ___________</p><p></p><p>Dear Parent(s),</p><p>I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.</p><p>Please send:</p><p>__ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______</p><p>__ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________</p><p>__ Clean clothes!</p><p>Relationships:</p><p>__ What?</p><p>__ I am in love with myself</p><p>__ I am in love!</p><p>__ I am engaged</p><p>__ I got married last weekend</p><p>My Roommate:</p><p>__ Worships the ground I walk on</p><p>__ Gave me a black eye</p><p>__ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason</p><p>__ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed ???</p><p>__ Has fleas</p><p>My Professors are:</p><p>__ Sadistic water walkers</p><p>__ Mental institution escapees</p><p>__ Brain dead nerds</p><p>__ Super oxygen thieves</p><p>Latest News:</p><p>__ I wrecked the car</p><p>__ I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit</p><p>__ You are going to have a grandchild</p><p>__ False alarm - you are NOT going to have a grandchild</p><p>Food:</p><p>__ Is great!</p><p>__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking</p><p>__ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals</p><p>Grades:</p><p>__ I am making all A's</p><p>__ I am not being properly challenged</p><p>__ I will be home after this semester</p><p>I study:</p><p>__ Night and day</p><p>__ All the time</p><p>__ 80 hours a week</p><p>__ Only on Sunday afternoon</p><p>__ None of the above</p><p>Daily Devotions:</p><p>__ I read my Bible everyday</p><p>__ I can't read</p><p>__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars</p><p>On my last visit home, I left:</p><p>__ My glasses</p><p>__ My paper that was due yesterday</p><p>__ The clothes you washed for me</p><p>__ My (girlfriend's) birth control pills</p><p>__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment</p><p>__ Other _____________________________________________</p><p>Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS (Blue)</p><p>Laundry:</p><p>__ My white underwear is now _________________</p><p>__ I am saving money by not using detergent</p><p>__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester</p><p>__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains</p><p>My room:</p><p>__ Can pass your "white glove" test</p><p>__ Is only _____% full</p><p>__ Could not be located last Saturday night</p><p>__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training</p><p>Parties:</p><p>__ I don't inhale</p><p>__ I only go to meet people</p><p>__ Haven't been to one since this morning</p><p>Hope you:</p><p>__ Miss me</p><p>__ Can live without me</p><p>__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence</p><p>Salutation:</p><p>__ Your Daughter,</p><p>__ Your Son,</p><p>__ Yours,</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063941668, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Writing Home the Easy Way[/COLOR][/B] Date: ___________ Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide and left a note saying I was the reason __ Is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with me in my bed ??? __ Has fleas My Professors are: __ Sadistic water walkers __ Mental institution escapees __ Brain dead nerds __ Super oxygen thieves Latest News: __ I wrecked the car __ I can't use your credit card because I have exceeded the credit limit __ You are going to have a grandchild __ False alarm - you are NOT going to have a grandchild Food: __ Is great! __ Even makes me appreciate your cooking __ I have had pizzas for the last eleven meals Grades: __ I am making all A's __ I am not being properly challenged __ I will be home after this semester I study: __ Night and day __ All the time __ 80 hours a week __ Only on Sunday afternoon __ None of the above Daily Devotions: __ I read my Bible everyday __ I can't read __ Someone stole my Bible while I was at one of the local bars On my last visit home, I left: __ My glasses __ My paper that was due yesterday __ The clothes you washed for me __ My (girlfriend's) birth control pills __ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment __ Other _____________________________________________ Please send above items by Federal Express (Priority One) or UPS (Blue) Laundry: __ My white underwear is now _________________ __ I am saving money by not using detergent __ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester __ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains My room: __ Can pass your "white glove" test __ Is only _____% full __ Could not be located last Saturday night __ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training Parties: __ I don't inhale __ I only go to meet people __ Haven't been to one since this morning Hope you: __ Miss me __ Can live without me __ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence Salutation: __ Your Daughter, __ Your Son, __ Yours, [/QUOTE]
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