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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063945743" data-attributes="member: 14320">Pissed OffComing into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, I'm so pissed off !Oh yeah? What happened? asked the bartender politely.See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!Gee, that's tough! commiserated the bartender.Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated, the customer went on.When her husband came into the room he said; Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?Yeech! the bartender shook his head. No wonder you're in a lousy mood.Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!Damn, that really is a drag! says the bartender.Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!The bartender paled. That would sure mess up my day.Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fellow rattled on, but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!______Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q. What should you do if you come across an elephant in the middle of a jungle?A. Wipe it off & tell him you're sorry! Perverted Q & A JokesQ: What is the best birth control method for really-oldseniors?A: NUDITYQ: What does a rattlesnakes and a rubber have in common?A: I know I don't fuck with either one of them.Q: Why is a joke like a pussy?A: Neither is any fun if you don't get it.Q: How does one discern between "Herpes" and "Aids" ?A: One is a love story the other a fairy tale.Q: What's a birth control pill?A: The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keepfrom becoming pregnant.Q: Why do brunettes always wear training bras?A: It's cheaper than changing their band aids every day!Q: Why don't blacks like going to country dances??A: Because when they hear there's a "hoe down" they thinktheir sister got shot.Q: Why can't you get a good blow job in India?A: All those cocksuckers are over here in America.Q: What's the difference between a hunting dog and agay guy?A: A hunting dog sics ducks.Q: What does a girl from a trailer park and a bear havein common?A: They both lick their paws.Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelorparty?A: The cake jumps out of the girl.Q: Why do Country/Western singers have brown noses?A: They've been looking for love in all the wrong places.Q: Why are dicks like fishing?A: You throw away the small ones...you eat the mediumones and you mount the really big onesQ: Whats the Fastest speed of sex ?A: 68, because when you hit 69 you eat it.Q: Why do sexy hunks have bad memories?A: Umm... err... I forgot.Q: If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the bathroomand you are an AMERICAN when you come out of thebathroom....what are you WHILE you are in thebathroom?A: EUROPEAN... of course!Q: What do you get when you cross an elephantwith a prostitute?A: A two-ton pickup.Q: What is the difference between love, true love and showing off?A: Spit, swallow and gargle.Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?A: Pick him up and suck his dickQ: How do you get a really old, skanky whore lubricated?A: Stick in a couple of fingers, scratch off some scabs, and let the pus run.Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?A: You are the wind beneath my wings.Q: Why is a necrophiliac like a fur trapper?A: They're both looking for dead beaver.Q: How does a gay guy fake an orgasm?A: Stands behind his partner and throws warm yogurt on his back.Q: What's the definition of gross?A: Licking the sweat off your grandpa's back as you fuck him in the ass.Q: What's gross?A: When you're eating cornflakes, and your brother asks what happened to his scab collection.Q: What's the definition of disgusting?A: Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny's cunt and sucking out thirteen.</blockquote>