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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063957741" data-attributes="member: 14320">Your Girlfriend Is Ugly When... (1) She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.(2) As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.(3) Even mosquitoes stay away from her.(4) She startles the animals at the zoo.(5) On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.(6) She makes onions cry.(7) Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.(8) Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.(9) The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.(10) When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest.Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!"Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway.The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her "Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!"Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her "Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!". "Oh no you don't", yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, "You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."Q. What's the definition of gross?A. When you go down on a pregnant woman and something grabs your tongue.Daffynition - Virgin: a girl who doesn't give a fuck.Q: Where do they post pictures of missing partial transsexuals?A: On cartons of half-and-half.Q: What is a birth control pill?A: The OTHER thing a coed can put in her mouth to keep fromgetting pregnant.</blockquote>