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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063963773" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Ten Things You Should Never Say To A Woman During An Argument:</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?</p><p></p><p>2. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.</p><p></p><p>3. You're just upset because your butt is beginning to spread.</p><p></p><p>4. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it</p><p></p><p>5. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?</p><p></p><p>6. Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.</p><p></p><p>7. Whoa, time out. Football is on.</p><p></p><p>8. Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!</p><p></p><p>9. Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?</p><p></p><p>10. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.</p><p></p><p>The businessman spent a good half an hour in the hotel lounge</p><p>bragging to the hooker about how big his dick was. Finally she</p><p>suggested they retire to his room and check it out, and he</p><p>willingly agreed.</p><p></p><p>The guy stripped off his clothes, jumped on top of the hooker,</p><p>entered her, and said triumphantly, "Why don't you open your</p><p>mouth, baby, so I can see the end of my prick?"</p><p></p><p>"Open my mouth?" scoffed the hooker. "Why don't you wiggle your</p><p>ass so I can feel it?"</p><p></p><p>Young Amy likes lifting her dress,</p><p>And removing her panties to press</p><p>In a manner obscene</p><p>'Gainst the washing machine</p><p>To relieve all her work-a-day stress.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Double Martini</span></strong></p><p></p><p>While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive woman sat</p><p>down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and</p><p>the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm</p><p>celebrating." "I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses</p><p>with him. "What are you celebrating?" he asked. "For years I've been</p><p>trying to have a child," she answered, "today my gynecologist told me</p><p>I'm pregnant!" "Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As</p><p>it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were</p><p>infertile. But today they're finally fertile." "How did it happen?" "I</p><p>switched cocks." "What a coincidence," she said, smiling "That's</p><p>exactly what I did!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">lllll</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Morris that walks into a house of ill repute in Nevada</p><p>and says, "I'll give $20,000 to any woman here</p><p>who'll come into the desert with me and do it MY way."</p><p></p><p>One of the ladies agrees, and off they go driving into the</p><p>desert. After about an hour of hot sex she gets curious,</p><p>and asks him,...."Just what is your way?"</p><p></p><p>"On credit."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">lllll</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take</p><p>them while driving.</p><p>If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!</p><p></p><p>Be really good to your family and friends. You never</p><p>know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1063963773, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Ten Things You Should Never Say To A Woman During An Argument:[/COLOR][/B] 1. Don't you have some laundry to do or something? 2. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off. 3. You're just upset because your butt is beginning to spread. 4. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it 5. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one? 6. Sorry. I was just picturing you naked. 7. Whoa, time out. Football is on. 8. Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning! 9. Is there any way we can do this via e-mail? 10. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded. The businessman spent a good half an hour in the hotel lounge bragging to the hooker about how big his dick was. Finally she suggested they retire to his room and check it out, and he willingly agreed. The guy stripped off his clothes, jumped on top of the hooker, entered her, and said triumphantly, "Why don't you open your mouth, baby, so I can see the end of my prick?" "Open my mouth?" scoffed the hooker. "Why don't you wiggle your ass so I can feel it?" Young Amy likes lifting her dress, And removing her panties to press In a manner obscene 'Gainst the washing machine To relieve all her work-a-day stress. [B][COLOR="Teal"]Double Martini[/COLOR][/B] While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive woman sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating." "I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are you celebrating?" he asked. "For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!" "Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile." "How did it happen?" "I switched cocks." "What a coincidence," she said, smiling "That's exactly what I did!" [B][COLOR="Red"]lllll[/COLOR][/B] Morris that walks into a house of ill repute in Nevada and says, "I'll give $20,000 to any woman here who'll come into the desert with me and do it MY way." One of the ladies agrees, and off they go driving into the desert. After about an hour of hot sex she gets curious, and asks him,...."Just what is your way?" "On credit." [B][COLOR="Red"]lllll[/COLOR][/B] Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. [/QUOTE]
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