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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1063991304" data-attributes="member: 14320">Old FolksMany of us "Old Folks" (those over 50 or hovering over 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to be nice and conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict upon the world.So I made a sincere study of the situation and here are the results. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together:1. A nose ring and bifocals,2. Spiked hair and bald spots,3. A pierced tongue and dentures,4. Miniskirts and support hose,5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads,6. Speedos and cellulite,7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar,8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor,9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge,10. Bikinis and liver spots,11. Short shorts and varicose veins,12. In-line skates and a walkerQ: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?A: Ask your mom.Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?A: Say, "Nice dick."Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."Q: Are birth control pills deductible?A: Only if they don't workQ: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?A: Because they have cotton balls.Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?A: A cock that stays up all night.Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?A: Palm SundayQ: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?A: Miracle Whip.Q: Why did they kick the midget out of the nudist colony?A: He was getting into everybody's hair.</blockquote>