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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064001011" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Masked Halloween Party</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party.</p><p>The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party</p><p>and have a good time.</p><p>Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she</p><p>argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She told</p><p>him there was no need for him to miss the fun.</p><p>So he took his costume and</p><p>away he went.</p><p>The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened</p><p>without pain, and as it was still early she decided to go to the party.</p><p>Because hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have</p><p>some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not</p><p>around.</p><p>She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around</p><p>on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice chick he could, and</p><p>copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there.</p><p>His wife sidled up to</p><p>him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and</p><p>dry and devoted his time to the new action.</p><p>She let him go as far as he</p><p>wished; naturally, since he was her husband.</p><p>Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off</p><p>they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.</p><p>Just before unmasking</p><p>at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into</p><p>bed, wondering what kind of excuse he would have for his notorious</p><p>behavior.</p><p>She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him</p><p>what he had done.</p><p>He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when</p><p>you're not there."</p><p>Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll</p><p>tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party I met</p><p>Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker</p><p>all evening.</p><p>But I'll tell you...the guy that I loaned my costume to sure</p><p>had one hell of a time!"</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">++++++++</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A little girl and he mother were taking a walk in the park when they stumbled on two dogs having sex. The little girl asked her mom. What are they doing? Not knowing what to say the mom quickly answers, they are baking a cake. The next morning the little girl walks up to her mom and says. Mommy, I know what you and daddy were doing last night, the mom asks what?.... you two where baking a cake. The mom asks; and how do you know? The little girl says cause I wiped the icing off the couch to watch TV!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">+++++++</span></strong></p><p></p><p>One-day tits, ass, and pussy were all having a nice day. Tits asked ass how was his day, he replied, “boring as ever. I did nothing but shit all day.” Then ass asked tits how was their day, they replied, "oh nothing, just a little wet from here and there and always being held”. Pussy was so quiet, so tits and ass asked pussy how was his day, and he replied, “It was terrible, some big guy busted through the door, pinned me on the wall, and spit in my face.” </p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Shorties</span></strong></p><p></p><p>I'll bet ******* Web sites* would be more successful if</p><p>they would just include yes/no check boxes for pragmatic</p><p>characteristics like "enjoys farting loudly in public" and</p><p>"sucks one mean-ass cock."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>Remember: People who live in glass houses</p><p>can see you masturbating in their bushes.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>The 3 tragedies in a man's life:</p><p>1- life sucks</p><p>2- job sucks</p><p>3- Wife does NOT!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>They now say that tests on monkeys prove that HIV can be transmitted</p><p>through oral sex. What I want to know is, what weirdo was hired to blow</p><p>the monkeys ?</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>Unlike those perverted sickos,</p><p>I masturbate while only *imagining*</p><p>myself wearing women's clothes.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>"Well," replies Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with screwin the</p><p>same hole night after night after night.</p><p>I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety."</p><p></p><p>Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know,</p><p>turn her over every now and again?"</p><p></p><p>Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">=====</span></strong></p><p>Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064001011, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Masked Halloween Party[/COLOR][/B] A young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She told him there was no need for him to miss the fun. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early she decided to go to the party. Because hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new action. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of excuse he would have for his notorious behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him what he had done. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party I met Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you...the guy that I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!" [B][COLOR="Red"]++++++++[/COLOR][/B] A little girl and he mother were taking a walk in the park when they stumbled on two dogs having sex. The little girl asked her mom. What are they doing? Not knowing what to say the mom quickly answers, they are baking a cake. The next morning the little girl walks up to her mom and says. Mommy, I know what you and daddy were doing last night, the mom asks what?.... you two where baking a cake. The mom asks; and how do you know? The little girl says cause I wiped the icing off the couch to watch TV! [B][COLOR="Red"]+++++++[/COLOR][/B] One-day tits, ass, and pussy were all having a nice day. Tits asked ass how was his day, he replied, “boring as ever. I did nothing but shit all day.” Then ass asked tits how was their day, they replied, "oh nothing, just a little wet from here and there and always being held”. Pussy was so quiet, so tits and ass asked pussy how was his day, and he replied, “It was terrible, some big guy busted through the door, pinned me on the wall, and spit in my face.” [B][COLOR="Teal"] Shorties[/COLOR][/B] I'll bet ******* Web sites* would be more successful if they would just include yes/no check boxes for pragmatic characteristics like "enjoys farting loudly in public" and "sucks one mean-ass cock." [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes. [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] The 3 tragedies in a man's life: 1- life sucks 2- job sucks 3- Wife does NOT! [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] They now say that tests on monkeys prove that HIV can be transmitted through oral sex. What I want to know is, what weirdo was hired to blow the monkeys ? [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] Unlike those perverted sickos, I masturbate while only *imagining* myself wearing women's clothes. [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] "Well," replies Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with screwin the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety." Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?" Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?" [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned." [B][COLOR="Red"]=====[/COLOR][/B] Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead." [/QUOTE]
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