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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064034127" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">The Mute</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a</p><p>friend of his; also a mute.</p><p></p><p>In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing.</p><p>The friend replied (vocally!)</p><p></p><p>"Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now!"</p><p></p><p>Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to</p><p>a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a</p><p>treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords.</p><p>Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this</p><p>specialist.</p><p></p><p>They got an appointment that very afternoon. After an exam, the</p><p>specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanent damage. The</p><p>mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that</p><p>there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well.</p><p></p><p>"Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right</p><p>now!"</p><p></p><p>"Very well," replied the specialist. "Kindly go into the next</p><p>room, drop your pants and lean over the examining table. I'll be</p><p>right in."</p><p></p><p>The mute does as instructed, and the doctor snuck in carrying a</p><p>broomstick, a mallet and a jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom</p><p>handle, he 'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet.</p><p></p><p>The mute jumped from the table, screaming,</p><p></p><p>"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"</p><p></p><p>"VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*********</span></strong></p><p>There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.</p><p>Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"</p><p>Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"</p><p>Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.</p><p>Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">*********</span></strong></p><p>A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.</p><p>This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer?"</p><p>The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking good, I'm heading home!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064034127, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]The Mute[/COLOR][/B] A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of his; also a mute. In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing. The friend replied (vocally!) "Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now!" Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords. Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist. They got an appointment that very afternoon. After an exam, the specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanent damage. The mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well. "Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!" "Very well," replied the specialist. "Kindly go into the next room, drop your pants and lean over the examining table. I'll be right in." The mute does as instructed, and the doctor snuck in carrying a broomstick, a mallet and a jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom handle, he 'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet. The mute jumped from the table, screaming, "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" "VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'." [B][COLOR="Red"]*********[/COLOR][/B] There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses." [B][COLOR="Red"]*********[/COLOR][/B] A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer?" The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking good, I'm heading home!" [/QUOTE]
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