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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064039555" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Holy Shit!</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A couple has been ****** for three months, and the sex is getting dull.</p><p>One night they're lying in bed when the girl shyly says, "Harry, want to try something new? It's very kinky."</p><p>He says, "Sure."</p><p>She says, "Stand over me and take a shit on me."</p><p>So he's pretty shocked, but he figures well, if it's what she wants he'll do it. He stands up, straddles her, squats a bit, and takes a dump on her chest.</p><p>She says, "Now lie in it on top of me and screw me."</p><p>So he lies on top of her, with the shit oozing between them, and she gives him the wildest hump he's ever had.</p><p>So the next time they're fucking, she asks him to do it again. He stands over her and grinds out a huge turd onto her chest. Then he lies on her, and they have another incredible lay.</p><p>As time goes on, Harry really gets into it. He eats like a horse on the days before their dates, because it seems the more he craps on her, the better the sex is.</p><p>One Thursday night, he has the runs, so on Friday morning he eats a few cheese sandwiches and downs a whole bottle of Kaopectate before he goes to work, so he won't have any catastrophic accidents at the office.</p><p>That night, he goes to her house, they go in the bedroom and get undressed, she lies on the bed, he stands over her, and squats down, and grunts...but nothing comes out. He strains a bit, and grunts, and then llbbt!...a little fart...but nothing of any substance. For a few minutes, he's pushing and grunting, when suddenly she starts sobbing.</p><p>"Honey, what's wrong?" he asks.</p><p>"You're seeing someone else!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>There was a young man named Keith,</p><p>Who liked to be fondled beneath,</p><p>When she'd start with her lips,</p><p>Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips...</p><p>But not when the bitch used her teeth!</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==================================</span></strong></p><p>There once was a fellow named Ben,</p><p>Who was aroused by the sheep in the pen</p><p>Though he knew it's forbidden,</p><p>He was quite parasite ridden,</p><p>From trying it every now and then.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">==================================</span></strong></p><p>Now the Bishop was nobody's fool,</p><p>He'd been to a fine public school</p><p>He lowered his britches</p><p>And fucked both those bitches</p><p>With his twelve-inch Episcopal tool.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064039555, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Holy Shit![/COLOR][/B] A couple has been ****** for three months, and the sex is getting dull. One night they're lying in bed when the girl shyly says, "Harry, want to try something new? It's very kinky." He says, "Sure." She says, "Stand over me and take a shit on me." So he's pretty shocked, but he figures well, if it's what she wants he'll do it. He stands up, straddles her, squats a bit, and takes a dump on her chest. She says, "Now lie in it on top of me and screw me." So he lies on top of her, with the shit oozing between them, and she gives him the wildest hump he's ever had. So the next time they're fucking, she asks him to do it again. He stands over her and grinds out a huge turd onto her chest. Then he lies on her, and they have another incredible lay. As time goes on, Harry really gets into it. He eats like a horse on the days before their dates, because it seems the more he craps on her, the better the sex is. One Thursday night, he has the runs, so on Friday morning he eats a few cheese sandwiches and downs a whole bottle of Kaopectate before he goes to work, so he won't have any catastrophic accidents at the office. That night, he goes to her house, they go in the bedroom and get undressed, she lies on the bed, he stands over her, and squats down, and grunts...but nothing comes out. He strains a bit, and grunts, and then llbbt!...a little fart...but nothing of any substance. For a few minutes, he's pushing and grunting, when suddenly she starts sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" he asks. "You're seeing someone else!" There was a young man named Keith, Who liked to be fondled beneath, When she'd start with her lips, Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips... But not when the bitch used her teeth! [B][COLOR="Red"]==================================[/COLOR][/B] There once was a fellow named Ben, Who was aroused by the sheep in the pen Though he knew it's forbidden, He was quite parasite ridden, From trying it every now and then. [B][COLOR="Red"]==================================[/COLOR][/B] Now the Bishop was nobody's fool, He'd been to a fine public school He lowered his britches And fucked both those bitches With his twelve-inch Episcopal tool. [/QUOTE]
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