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<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064062382" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Animal Love</span></strong></p><p></p><p>Bats have sex in the air while flying.</p><p></p><p>Kinsey found that the most frequent animal/human sex was in excess of eight times a week.</p><p>The age group that was the most frequent was less than 15 years old.</p><p></p><p>Erect giraffe penises are four feet long.</p><p></p><p>Chinese lovers, before the days of Mao, were most fond of sex with fowl.</p><p></p><p>When faced with an unfamiliar partner, a pregnant female rat or mouse will</p><p>spontaneously abort its fetus and go into heat.</p><p></p><p>To have sex with donkeys, Mongol men would often tie their hind legs together.</p><p></p><p>Average sexual intercourse between minks lasts eight hours.</p><p></p><p>Middle Eastern cave paintings reveal that men used to have sex with female crocodiles</p><p>because they believed that it would make them rich and important</p><p></p><p>A dragonfly's penis has a shovel on the end that scoops out a rival male's semen</p><p></p><p>The Inca enacted laws to prevent llama drivers from having sex with their animals</p><p>and enforced the laws be requiring that the llama drivers be escorted by chaperones.</p><p></p><p>The average gorilla weighing 200 pounds has a penis that is two inches long.</p><p></p><p>Upon losing battles, apes will tend to masturbate.</p><p></p><p>Male boars excite females by breathing on their faces.</p><p></p><p>In the animal kingdom, chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest quickies.</p><p>Sexual intercourse can last as little as three seconds.</p><p></p><p>Most giraffes are bisexual.</p><p></p><p>Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females.</p><p></p><p>Pigs and hogs have corkscrew-shaped penises.</p><p></p><p>The sea slug does little more than eat, sleep, and copulate--actually it copulates a lot,</p><p>often in orgies. One researcher at the University of Miami has witnessed as many</p><p>as 10 sea slugs at a time engaging in chain copulating.</p><p></p><p>(Damn sea slugs got the right idea)</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Under The Sheets</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A man returned home from the night shift at 8 am, went straight</p><p>up to the bedroom and found his wife with the sheet pulled over</p><p>her head, feigning sleep.</p><p></p><p>Not to be denied, the horny fellow pulled up the sheet and</p><p>proceeded to make love to her.</p><p></p><p>Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was</p><p>startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring</p><p>coffee.</p><p></p><p>"How'd you get down here so fast?", he asked, "we were just</p><p>making love."</p><p></p><p>"Oh my God", his wife gasped, "that's my mother up there! She</p><p>came over with a headache. I told her to lie down for a while."</p><p></p><p>Rushing upstairs, the woman ran into the bedroom.</p><p></p><p>"Why didn't you say something!", she asked her mother.</p><p></p><p>"I haven't spoken to that jerk in fifteen years", she huffed,</p><p>"and I wasn't about to start now!"</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">---------------</span></strong></p><p>My ex-wife could manipulate the muscles of her vagina so it felt like you were getting a blow job.</p><p>Pretty funny when you think about it because when she manipulated the muscles of her mouth she sounded like a cunt.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">----------</span></strong></p><p>An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get</p><p>up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.</p><p></p><p>"You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.</p><p></p><p>"Disgusting!" said the old lady.</p><p></p><p>"It was revolting," her husband added.</p><p></p><p>"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.</p><p></p><p>"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady</p><p>replied. "We couldn't find my panties,and his teeth were in them!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064062382, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]Animal Love[/COLOR][/B] Bats have sex in the air while flying. Kinsey found that the most frequent animal/human sex was in excess of eight times a week. The age group that was the most frequent was less than 15 years old. Erect giraffe penises are four feet long. Chinese lovers, before the days of Mao, were most fond of sex with fowl. When faced with an unfamiliar partner, a pregnant female rat or mouse will spontaneously abort its fetus and go into heat. To have sex with donkeys, Mongol men would often tie their hind legs together. Average sexual intercourse between minks lasts eight hours. Middle Eastern cave paintings reveal that men used to have sex with female crocodiles because they believed that it would make them rich and important A dragonfly's penis has a shovel on the end that scoops out a rival male's semen The Inca enacted laws to prevent llama drivers from having sex with their animals and enforced the laws be requiring that the llama drivers be escorted by chaperones. The average gorilla weighing 200 pounds has a penis that is two inches long. Upon losing battles, apes will tend to masturbate. Male boars excite females by breathing on their faces. In the animal kingdom, chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest quickies. Sexual intercourse can last as little as three seconds. Most giraffes are bisexual. Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females. Pigs and hogs have corkscrew-shaped penises. The sea slug does little more than eat, sleep, and copulate--actually it copulates a lot, often in orgies. One researcher at the University of Miami has witnessed as many as 10 sea slugs at a time engaging in chain copulating. (Damn sea slugs got the right idea) [B][COLOR="Teal"]Under The Sheets[/COLOR][/B] A man returned home from the night shift at 8 am, went straight up to the bedroom and found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, feigning sleep. Not to be denied, the horny fellow pulled up the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?", he asked, "we were just making love." "Oh my God", his wife gasped, "that's my mother up there! She came over with a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the woman ran into the bedroom. "Why didn't you say something!", she asked her mother. "I haven't spoken to that jerk in fifteen years", she huffed, "and I wasn't about to start now!" [B][COLOR="Red"]---------------[/COLOR][/B] My ex-wife could manipulate the muscles of her vagina so it felt like you were getting a blow job. Pretty funny when you think about it because when she manipulated the muscles of her mouth she sounded like a cunt. [B][COLOR="Red"]----------[/COLOR][/B] An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night. "You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said. "Disgusting!" said the old lady. "It was revolting," her husband added. "Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks. "We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady replied. "We couldn't find my panties,and his teeth were in them!" [/QUOTE]
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