Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 1064117073" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)</span></strong></p><p></p><p>1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.</p><p></p><p>2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).</p><p></p><p>3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.</p><p></p><p>4. A backward poet writes inverse.</p><p></p><p>5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your</p><p>count that votes.</p><p></p><p>7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.</p><p></p><p>8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.</p><p></p><p>9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.</p><p></p><p>10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you</p><p>A-flat minor.</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">========</span></strong></p><p>There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished,</p><p>looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the</p><p>rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby.</p><p>The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating</p><p>it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure</p><p>satisfaction.</p><p></p><p>The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do</p><p>it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat</p><p>spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail,</p><p>arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the</p><p>mouse, only to end up in the lake.</p><p></p><p>What is the moral of the story?</p><p>Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy!</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Short Jokes</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman who just got married ran into a friend on the street one day,</p><p>and the friend asked her how her marriage was going.</p><p></p><p>"Not good. He eats like a pig, he never takes a bath, and he leaves</p><p>his dirty clothes all over the house. He makes me so sick I can barely</p><p>eat."</p><p></p><p>"Well," says the friend, "why don't you leave him?"</p><p></p><p>"I will," says the first one. "But I want to lose another 12 pounds</p><p>first."</p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^</span></strong></p><p></p><p>They say one way you can tell the difference between a young prostitute and</p><p>an old prostitute these days is that a young prostitute uses petroleum jelly</p><p>and the old prostitute uses denture adhesive.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">30 years on</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs.</p><p></p><p>Her husband starts to cry.</p><p></p><p>She says, "What's the matter?"</p><p></p><p>He says, "Thirty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it looks like it can't wait to eat me."</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^</span></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: Teal">Mother In Law</span></strong></p><p></p><p>A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police.</p><p></p><p>The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.</p><p></p><p>"Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="melody, post: 1064117073, member: 14320"] [B][COLOR="Teal"]FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)[/COLOR][/B] 1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. 9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. [B][COLOR="Red"]========[/COLOR][/B] There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction. The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake. What is the moral of the story? Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy! [B][COLOR="Teal"]Short Jokes[/COLOR][/B] A woman who just got married ran into a friend on the street one day, and the friend asked her how her marriage was going. "Not good. He eats like a pig, he never takes a bath, and he leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. He makes me so sick I can barely eat." "Well," says the friend, "why don't you leave him?" "I will," says the first one. "But I want to lose another 12 pounds first." [B][COLOR="Red"],.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^[/COLOR][/B] They say one way you can tell the difference between a young prostitute and an old prostitute these days is that a young prostitute uses petroleum jelly and the old prostitute uses denture adhesive. [B][COLOR="Red"],.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]30 years on[/COLOR][/B] A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Thirty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it looks like it can't wait to eat me." [B][COLOR="Red"],.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^[/COLOR] [COLOR="Teal"]Mother In Law[/COLOR][/B] A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
original rare Yokohama ADVAN Racing TC4 18x8.5...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing ZE40 17x9jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
original rare Rays Volk Racing INGS TS06 18x8jj...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
New original Defi Advance A1 NA package triple...
Started by
david tao
Engine and Performance
original rare Rays Volk Racing CE28 16x7jj offset...
Started by
david tao
Chassis and Wheels
Honda Jazz/Fit JSracing GTwing Spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Toyota Vios NCP93 front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Honda civic fc varis spoiler
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F10 Msport front bumper set
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
BMW F30 M3/GTS front bonnet hood
Started by
jeff6126
Exterior and Body
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Lamborghini releases teaser image of upcoming Murcielago replacement model
https://www.zerotohundred.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/lambo-teaser.jpg
First introduced in 2001, the Lamborghini Murcielago has spawned a number of models including the Reventon and the ultra fast Super Veloce...
Custom ER34 3-meter face
To all ER34 owners:
Custom 3-meter faces available in amber and white. I'll get the white-faced dial photos uploaded as soon as i can. Interested let me know.
Price RM200
View attachment 637764
This is the...
engine year of manufacture
i want to get an ecu for my engine but someone ask about my engine when the year of manufacture is. i have a 3sge beams vvti 6mt from a toyota altezza. i bought the engine without ecu.
so now how to check the year...
Recent Posts
Darker Design : Mercedes-Benz Launches GLA Nightfall Edition in Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Honda Malaysia Doubles Down on Hybrids: New CR-V Launches with Dual e:HEV...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
BateriHub Reaches 200-Store Milestone, Becomes Malaysia’s Largest...
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Been stalking for 3 years edy
Started by
dheepadarshan95
Introduction and Newbies
Recommendation: Turbocharger for 4B11 N.A engine
Started by
Mitevo7
Car Modification
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
JeSt fOr LaUgHs...
